doc's dog day

reflection

2009-09-14T13:26:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since i last posted anything, well, apart from the CDC advisory on how to prevent the surge of H1N1 simply by a good practice of personal hygiene.

I came across this nice thai language song and I reckon the lyrics are pretty touching. Perhaps reflection on what has transpired.

Swine Flu

2009-04-28T09:30:00.001+08:00

Concise and straight to the point explanation of Swine Flu and the measures use to contain and protect ourselves.

Speechless

2009-03-06T11:38:00.002+08:00

something to ponder upon. cannot believe it's 1992 and now the environment is getting worst. Chills me to think what environment will our future generations inherit from us?

The last day....

2008-12-31T20:26:00.002+08:00

The last day of the year, 31st of December 2008. Goodbye, it has been a year filled with memories. Fond or otherwise.

All the spectrum of taste has been experienced over the course of the 365 odd days that has come and gone. Sour, sweet, bitter and spicy. It has all. I reckon life as we see it is like that. The trick is to get up and pull ourselves together and face another year of challenges.

Hopefully 2009 will be sweeter as compared to 2008.

With forlorn and a heavy heart I bid farewell to 2008, It has been challenging and I reckon whatever obstacles thrown has been overcome; whatever bad things, braved; whatever emotional liabilities, stomached; Whatever illness , recovered; whatever speed lessons taught, learned.

It is not to say that 2008 were all bad, it has it's moments, and the goods ones will be remembered and cherished till the end of time.

With enthusiasm and hope, Welcome 2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! May the new year brings better things, good fortune, love and happiness to everyone! Cheers for Good health and Blessings.

top 10 "misses" of 2008

2008-12-30T20:35:00.005+08:00

Here's a list of top 10 misses for the year; not necessarily in order of importance.

1) My Dad

It has been so many years since my dad passed on way back in '85. I still have memories of him but it has become increasing difficult to recall all the fond memories. Time is really screaming away at lightning speed and I find it difficult to play catch up with it.

2) My Mum

She passed away 2 years back and it seems like a life time. I still recall about her and dad once a while and it is kinda sad when you think of it. Ah well, hopefully they are in a much better existence.

3) Fitness

Yup, age is advancing and as time is scarce, having to work and all, I hardly find time to exercise. I used to make it a point to go for a run after work but during the past few months, I haven't had the urge to do it. Maybe a part of it is due to the issue of safety since there has been a spat of robberies and muggings in the garden where I used to jog at 10pm at night, or perhaps it's the act of being lazy that has been plaguing me, or the constant aches that I develop. I reckon part and parcel of growing older.

4) Relationship and the intimacy associated with it.

yup still as solo as I can be, it felt especially bad when I am lying on my bed, wide awake and wondered what happened? I cannot remember how it felt like being intimate and close to someone I love. The bed will be empty and cold especially when the chilly breeze blasts from the conditioner. Wonder if 12 months from now, would I be contemplating about what went wrong again?

5) Buddy

Every single one of my buddy is married, the last of the last whom happen to be my best buddy, just tied the know on Boxing day. I am happy for him, as he has finally settled, but it's bittersweet as I know that I am currently without even a compadre who can at least take some slack off me.

6) Health

I am not what I used to be. I am currently hypertensive, and i had initiated treatment myself. Age has taken a toll on my health, although I am asymptomatic, I find developing high blood pressure at 38 is really nothing to be happy about. I tried changing my lifestyle, have more rest, less stress and exercise more but sad to say, the pressure is still not ideal after all that. After seeing one of my friend develop high blood, stroke, diabetes, both eyesight blindness, bilateral kidney failure with amputated toe, it suddenly dawned upon to me that life passes by ever so quickly and we are merely transiting here.

7) Timing

one of the most important misses is I am unable to sell my invested properties. I had contemplated and actually taken every possible angle into account but sad to say that the recession that is happening now is earlier than I initially anticipated. So I am now stuck with having to pay mortgages right under my nose!

8) A good night's sleep

I haven't had a good night's sleep for so long, it's not to say that i haven't slept at all but rather the sleep that someone can have, on and on and on. The sleep that makes u totally relaxed and at peace with everything, where you don't need to wake up by a specific time.. really haven't had one of those for so long.

9) Backpacking

I love backpacking and trekking. But I haven't been doing that for a very long time, ordinarily I would prefer taking the train and stopping at every station and explore to see what do they have to offer. Ever since practicing in private, the freedom to do anything is bound by the commitments that I have to my patients and my practice. It makes me wonder when is it going to end.

10) my mind

Yup, have been getting more and more forgetful lately. Perhaps I have early onset dementia? At times i cannot recall what has actually transpired in the last few months. I might not have Alzheimer per se, but maybe all can be traced to my lack of "sleep" and too much stress? I certainly hoped so, I don't want to be like Denny Crane with his "Mad Cow's"....

Dick FM?

2008-12-29T09:17:00.003+08:00

I listen to radio talk shows every morning whilst driving to work, even thought it's a short drive but at times I do find some topic of conversation interesting especially contest based trivia Q&As. Just this morning there was a contests that supposedly pit a working adult's knowledge to that of a child.

The contestant today was a 29 year old Project manager, whom was asked 3 general knowledge based questions.

The first question is;

Host : " What is LED"?

contestant : I know that the E in LED stands for electronic or electric...But you want me to expand the acronym?

host : the "E" in LED is in fact not electronic nor electric, many people would have mistaken the "E" for that. It is "emitting".

contestant : I give up.

host : the full expansion of LED is Light Emitting Diode

contestant : wah! I know that!

2nd Question,

Host : what does Ohms denotes in electricity?

answer : resistance

host : very good answer!

3rd Question;

Host : and I hope you are good in your geography.

answer : NO, Not Geography, ask me something else, something easier!

question : what's the capital of Argentina?

answer : Give me a start or at least the First Alphabet?

host : it starts with a "B"

answer : BRAZIL?

I was like going WHAT? nearly puke myself when I heard this 29 year old Project manager utter Brazil as the capital of Argentina. Any oxymoron who watches FIFA world cup would know that they are completely different country. I was like HELLO?, Never heard of Buenos Aires?

The questions are easy, well at least it sounded easy to me which I reckon you don't need to study for it. It's basically just something a decent knowledgeable chap would know.

I wonder what people nowadays know? Project manager that doesn't even know the basics of,..... anything? Just imagine that when this chap is married with kids, the children would have inherited his ignorance, scary thought eh? sickening and scary thought, hell ya!

top 10 Global milestones of 2008

2008-12-28T10:36:00.006+08:00

As 2008 comes to it's close and the new years looms knocking at the door, I reckon it would be great to list down some "10's" of everything before the year is over.

Here's the Top 10 milestones of 2008 (in no order of importance)

1) President elect Barack Obama :-

First colored president of the most powerful country in the world. If this is no milestone, I don't know what is? More than 2 decades later, a none white man has been elected to the highest office of the country, it's progress however way you look at it, sad to say that this will never happen in my home country.

2) Beijing Olympics :-

The 3rd Asian country to host the most prestigious sport event in the world, even though Asia is more than half of the world's population, it has only managed to be hosted in 3 Asian venues, talk about discrimination eh? Anyway spectacular games not without any "controversies" man made or otherwise. I reckon there will always be enemies to progress.

3) Global recession :-

Started with the sub prime mortgage crises crafted in the gold ole' US of A. It sort of started a "dominoes effect" triggering widespread recession of the world economy, joblessness, chaos and also dipping standards of living.

4) Fuel prices :-

Due to unscrupulous speculators, the crude oil per barrel shot up to 148 usd per barrel, highest in living memory. current crude oil prices is less than 40 usd per barrel. It's sheer greediness.

5) Terrorism in Mumbai :-

worst things happen to innocent people. I wonder why jihad has to involve innocent women and children? There is no sense of decency and humanity when it comes to serving "God". Wonder if "God" is merciful and compassionate? More than a few hundreds die for reason(s) best known to the perps.

6) Sichuan earthquake :-

Many lives are lost, one of the calamities that has happened to China. Sad, sad sad. tried volunteering my services.

7) Lost of 2/3 majority by ruling Barisan national.

Best piece of news that I've heard in so long. But then again the political climate is still status quo, those in corridors of power is still whacking the money like there is no tomorrow, brazen and rash outbursts in Parliament is the norm, MPs spewing foul mouth rhetoric and despicable languages. I have since given up on this country.

8) Bangkok Airport seize :-

Sad case for democracy. Protester seize the Suvarnabhumi International Airport causing so much misery to tourists and hurting the Thai economy even more in addition to the global economy crises. The fact remains that the previous TRT party has been democratically elected by the population.

9) Piracy in the gulf of Aden

Somalian pirates are taking a leaf from "Pirates of the Carribean". Plundering, robbing, pillaging and taking to kidnapping for a tidy ranson, vessels passing through this gulf. According to some reports; it seems those pirates are having a time of their life, having women and spending lavishly.

10) Landslides in Klang Valley

Many landslides occur recently due to the rainy season, these has been one of the wettest monsoon season. Biggest landslides was the one that occurred in Bukit Antarabangsa where many lives were lost. Authorities were slow to act, ( as per usual). A few more landslides around the unstable highlands.

Well that's the 10 milestones that crept into my mind this morning, I am sure there are more, but I just couldn't recall..

next posts, my own 10 memorable events.

38 years ago today

2008-11-29T16:58:00.000+08:00

Exactly 38 years ago today, i got my first spank, my first taste of being prodded, stabbed and tubes stuffed into me. It was also when I first shed my tears. Today passed by just like any other day, boring and without any interesting plans. Ah well, hopefully there are many more of "todays" to experience.

I reckon I have been blessed with having most of the 38 years. It's about getting comfortable and accepting our lives as it is and looking back, I reckon I should be happy with where I am. Here's to a good and fulfiling life! Next plan? Jogging in the treadmill...Will probably need to slot in as much exercise and rest as possible. I know that I am not old, but as things are, i can feel that my body is not like last time.

My future plans? no future plans apart from continuing what I am doing, work, and hopefully semi retire in the next couple of years, try to go to as many places as I can and live my life as it is! Next stop, Bangkok in febuary!

Montezuma's revenge, rubella and the agony of losing a life

2008-11-27T08:59:00.003+08:00

I haven't been actively blogging, I reckon that's given, since this blog has been virtually quiet over the last few month. Loads has happened, some pleasant, but mostly not so.

Over the past week, i have been sort of 'under the weather' having recurrent aches and discomfort, malaise and also insomnia. I think due to all these culmination of factors, I contracted rubella. Funny that an old man like me can contract such a trivial viral infection. Anyway suffice to say that I had rashes all over which inadvertently makes me look rather "flushed".

It took me a few days to recover and during these period, I got food poisoning, hence the Montezuma's. It was a whole week of protracted discomfort and irritability. I reckon when age advances our resistance will invariably dip and when it does, all infirmity will surface.

The reason of me highlighting all these is because I had a patient yesterday, considerably young, at 42 came to me with an acute chest pain. He was strutting in nonchalantly alone and it immediately struck me as Myocardial infarction or in layman's term, a sudden heart attack. His blood pressure then was non recordable. I did my best to stabilize the patient, and called the ambulance. Ironic thing is that he felt much better also what I did and I was relieved after it became apparent that he will pull through and not lapsed away in the clinic. As per usual, the ambulance came after 45 mins, which in a medical emergency situation, "deplorable", even his brother, whom i manage to contract reach faster even though he was situated further away.

Well, i did my part, sent him to the hospital much to my relieve and believe that he will be able to pull through, much to my chagrin, all was well until they instituted treated for heart attack to him in the tertiary hospital. He collapsed and died according to his brother who made it an effort to inform me. It's sad especially when you've done all you can but inspite of doing everything, you still lose a life. This was one of the reason why I didn't want to work in a hospital. The emotions and the tense situation was just a tad too much for me.

I reckon life can be what you want it to be, perhaps seeing someone slip away relatively young should be a wake up call for me as it should be for everyone?

President elect's standup comedy

2008-11-19T15:07:00.002+08:00

We've all saw how serious the presidential election was, but this video from youtube shows one facade of the President elect in a totally different light, and he's farnie!

take 5

2008-09-18T10:47:00.003+08:00

with all the bruhaha over the state of political stagnation in our country, with global stagflation and stagnation, I reckon it's time that we take our minds off all these predicament.

Someone send me this youtube video about the state of events that has been brewing in Malaysia. It's a parody of the unfortunate happenings and plaguing us.

27th of August 2008

2008-08-27T23:33:00.002+08:00

How time flies. It especially true when one is equivocally persuing one objective in mind, which is work, work and work. At times i wonder why work like what I am doing now?

I am 37 years old, which translates into 37 x 365 days of my sad existence, 37 is a figure that I want to be contented with, as I constantly remind myself that I am a saggitarius, which invariably means that I am born at the tail end of the year. I reckon it's at least some sort of feel good inner mechanism that I ditch out to pacify my pysche.

Many a times I reflect and ask myself one singular question. Why work, and work so hard and long hours at that too? It's not that I have a dependant to take care off? It's not that I have some offspring to bequeath what I have accumulated over all these years, right? Sometimes I just feel like closing this chapter of my life and moving on to some place where I can do what naturally makes me happy, to be away from all those persuit of all things materialistic. I really really wonder.

Coming to Robert Herrick's poem which I posted just earlier this morning, It basically exults a person to seize the day, or "carpe diem" in latin. Why isn't I seizing the day I wonder? Can I see myself doing the same thing day in and day out in the next few years? As much as I don't want to, I am unsure about it. Which invariably directs me to the basic question, whatever for?

I reckon I am giving myself 5 years before I call it quits, perhaps even earlier, since I am alone and doesn't need so much to maintain my lifestyle. I reckon this canine will be destined to roam the far reaches of this world alone.

Ironically Robert Herricks' poem which I quoted in my earlier post, "To the virgins, to make much of time" was written by Robert in his latter years as a testament of his regret of not "seizing the day" and getting someone to settle down and marry. Perhaps I am reciting the same old 'tune'.

The thrill of a by election

2008-08-27T15:23:00.004+08:00

The past few days have been spent reading about goings on in the small northern constituency of Permatang Pauh. This backward and tranquil area would be the battle ground of ideology, of new and of old politics, of clean and dirty tactics. This rustic and laid back area would determine the future of our country.

During the course of the campaigning, it was referred to being the dirtiest in the history of our country. Corruption, sex, scandals, phantom voters, vote buying, vote rigging, postal votes; you name it, you have it. It's an epic battle between people's power and a government that would stop at nothing to win this seat. It was as intense a campaign period as any campaign can be.

Alas, this by election of P44 has come and gone. I as many was keen to see the outcome of this election and with abated breath. This being an apolitical blog I reckon it's suffice to say that the overwhelming results put a sense of exuberance and a broad smile on my face that is ever present now even when I am typing on my keyboard.

Enough of all the racists taunts and dirty politicking by the government of the day, the signal and message brought and highlighted by the constituency of P44 is loud and clear. Ship out now.

I want to extend my sincerest congratulations to the winner and hopefully the impending onslaught to Putrajaya should be started soonest possible.

I end this by taking 4 lines from Robert Herick's "To the virgins, to make much of time"

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old Time is still a-flying:

And this same flower that smiles today

To-morrow will be dying.

Carpe Diem and onwards to a better political landscape!

Of Banks and high blood pressure

2008-08-20T22:05:00.003+08:00

Today the 20th of August is considered pretty bad for me, business is slow, possibly due to the wet weather, and the amount which i had collected is not even enough to fill up my thirsty ride. It's as bad as that, but I reckon this is not what that riles me up, but a banking incident that did it outmost best to push me over the edge.

You see, I have an account with a foreign bank and i usually bank in my takings for the day, cash or cheques that I have received into this bank account. Something went wrong which makes me fume and push my blood pressure to the roof. Allow me to reiterate and elaborate what has transpired just barely half and hour ago.

In this time and age, everything is about automation. It's some automated that everyone including yours truly is reliant on "it". So naturally I banked in my cheques via the numerously tailored machines known as "Automated Teller Machines". I slotted in my ATM card and gingerly waited, up came the flashes registering the words "Your Transaction is Being Processed, Please Wait". Damn I was interacting with a hardware. As the seconds ticks on and minutes replaces it, my gaity and smile quicky turns to frowns. it became increasing clear that this crap monstrosity has obviously "Hanged". My predicament exactly one month back has reared it's ulgy head once again.

A month ago, the same exact thing happenned to me and now, a few weeks on, it has struck again. Unable to contain my disgust, I asked the security guard if he can turn the machine off. Well frankly I already knew that he can't but in that state of mind, I don't mind asking again, just for the sake of "asking"!.

I called the call centre and was made to wait for a few minutes before this customer service representative or 'telephonist' answered. I can swear by God's name that she merely whispered and that's it! I was like wtf! could you speak louder? With the ambient and background noises, it is impossibily to hear that she is talking. I reckon people like this doesn't have a clue as to how noisy Banks are.

I immediately introduce myself and told her about my predicament. Prior to taking my complaint, she started by asking me some prelimary questions and wanted my telebanking "PIN" number. I don't have one and she starts asking my account number. I was lucky in the sense that I had the cheques which I wanted to bank in with me and behind I had written the account number. I gave it to her, after asking me many more questions, my IC number(s), postcode she then proceeded to ask me about the figure which I last transacted using this account. I was like "huh"?, as if people memorize how much money they draw and withdraw from a bank account! It would be reasonable to assume that many people have more than one bankers and I am no exception. I seriously cannot remember, since it was a few days ago. Anyway I told her I couldn't remember and asked her to ask me another question. Finally after ding donging and dilly dallying I authenticated myself as the real account holder and proceeded to tell her the my problem. Mind you this is already more than half an hour from the whole episode of slotting in the card.

My God, she doesn't understand what I was trying to tell her. Perhaps my powers of explanation is deficient, perhaps my communicative skills is impaired or perhaps she doesn't process a good enough cognitive skills but whatever it is, it is beyond my comprehension. The issue is simple enough, "MY CARD IS JAMMED IN THE MACHINE!!!" . All this compounded my already boiling anger and rapidly ascending blood pressure. Being attended by a friendly person in times of irritation is one thing, but being attended by a less than expected level of intelligent person is way too much for someone like me to tolerate.

I raised my voice and I told her whichever it is, my card is stuck and I don't want to be waiting in this stupid place hoping that the card, by some divine intervention, be ejected. Mind you if the ATM card has been totally "eaten" or detained by the machine, it's fine, but the thing about the paraphase of "Your Transaction is Being Processed, Please Wait" would automatically mean that there is still a chance, however remote that it might be processed and the card ejected out. Would anyone want to take the risk? I proceeded to ask her to cancel the card. She had the balls to tell me that It would be chargeable to issue a new card. I protested to her that it wasn't due to any fault of mine, but she insists that it's the banks policy. WTF. I told her to cancel the card as I don't want to be bogged with the possibility of the card being in another person's hands. I have quite some dough in this account and I wasn't prepared to play "Big Balls" with this.

Come tomorrow, I'd have to take time off again from work to visit this fucking branch to sort out this problem again in the span of one month. ONE MONTH!! I reckon my blood pressure will be registering red levels tomorrow yet again. I need a break, barely one month from my trip to Bangkok and here I am feeling the effects of stress. I wonder how long can I take all this shit anymore? Aarrgghhh!!

after

2008-08-15T17:14:00.004+08:00

and here are the pictures that includes the plaster ceilings, downlights with curtains and blinds....

hopefully with all these fittings, I can sell it or rent it out with some positive returns...

before renovation

2008-08-15T10:45:00.008+08:00

The past few weeks have been spent running around buying, and appointing contractors to renovate certain portions of the apartment. I need to thank Jesmine for hooking up and helping me with sourcing for the appropriate contractors.

here are some pictures to show you the before although some minor repair works needs to done to rectify some damages by the contractors. I only did some minor renovation which is to put in plaster ceiling and downlights and curtains.

reno madness

2008-08-12T12:14:00.002+08:00

As everyone would probably know, I have been doing some minor renovations of my property. Frankly it's the worst possible decision of my life. Allow me to elaborate about it in entirety.

I engaged a plaster ceiling chap thinking that he has appropriate experience in dealing with high ended properties, Boy was I wrong! I have time and time again reminded him to cover the wooden floor with a plastic sheet and paper to prevent scratches on the floor. Imagine my chagrin when he never even bother to any basic measures to protect the floor.

I went again and to my utter dismay, my floor was scratched rather badly. What the hell, how can someone not even bother to at least cover the floor appropriately to prevent damage? I called him today and fired him. I think I will withhold any payment to him pending damage assessment. My walls are dirty, and there are stains on the walls, on the marble floor and also it was deplorable workmanship.

It seems to me that I have made a huge blunder engaging a half past six twit like this. My friend used him before and he was supposedly "good". I told him about that and he gave me loads and loads of excuse of "subbing" my unit job to his friend, I was like WTF! if I would have known I wouldn't have given you the job. These fellows are morons to say the very least.

I reckon I will have to see what can be done to salvage the floor, maybe i should talk to the developer's people to see any remedial measures can be taken?

Fact remains that everything has been screwed up from the word "GO". From taking more than 2 weeks to do up the ceiling to damaging my floor, and my walls. Contractors like this ought to be shot. Seriously I reckon there should be some registers to register contractors so as we can complain and have their license revoke if need be. Am so tired and fed up with all these pricks.

Olympics and my dad

2008-08-10T22:05:00.003+08:00

The second hand struck 8.08 pm and fireworks set off what is officially the first Olympics in Chinese soil. After so many years or bidding and doing what they can, it has finally reached the middle kingdom. It is a great honour for all Chinese people especially those in Beijing, who has toiled and work tirelessly over the past few years. When the ceremony started, I couldn't contain my elated sense of proudness and my happiness.

I am Chinese and it's not unreasonable to say that I am happy to the brink of tearing on this momentus occasion. I don't know why I shed tears but maybe it's the sense that at least we, Chinese are somewhere. It was just over 60 years back when we were being vilified as "Sick men of Asia". I am sure people who has watched Bruce Lee's "Fist of Fury" would know what I am talking about.

I reflected on the fact that, if my dad is alive, he would be brimming with joy, smiling and grining not to mention jumping around elated. Whenever he speaks of China, the country where he was born and raised, he would be so proud. I could scarcely remember my old man, it's been so long. He passed on when i was 13. I have written a lot on my mum but for my dad, I reckon I'd write more in time, but back to the Olympics.

I wish all the participants all the best of luck, and to the organisers, I am so proud of all of you, you all have indeed made the opening a spectaculat Gala, with Zhang Yi Mou helming the direction of the opening. We are no longer the "Sick men" no more. To those that is making an issue out of Tibet and what not, please do remember that the Olympic movement transcends nationality, polical, religious and racial divide.

May the best man/ woman wins! let the games begin!

what the hell!

2008-08-06T21:52:00.002+08:00

My first post for the month of August, the month where the Olympics will commence in Beijing, as a Chinese I should be proud that finally the "games" has make it's presence felt in the middle kingdom. Alas this is not the topic of my post today.

August is also the month of many uncertainties, including diabolical conspiracies and dubious sodomy charges againsts a 61 year old man. Nothing makes sense, well at least to me. It's also the month where spirits from the netherworld descends into our streets, the "Ghost month".

But all these is nothing compared to my small worries. Yup I am a normal chap and has normal worries. I have been busy with renovating my apartment. I had engaged a plaster ceiling contractor to fix my ceiling and it has been already 10 days and nothing has been done yet. I lost my cool and I started firing the fellow. I reckon irrespective of race or creed, no one can be trusted. At times I think chinese are the biggest snakes. Well, I am chinese, and I don't know if I am a snake, but seriously, for a fellow Chink, i never like the way business is done. What am i supposed to do? My schedule is tight as my curtains needs to be up by Monday and this chap is nonchalantly taking his own sweet time to install the ceiling. I made sure things are set in motion today, hence my absence from work for a few hours.

I have to monitor and go check on them once a day, whoever said Chinese are responsible people has got to be kidding me. I think responsibility doesn't automatically comes with a specific race, nor meticulousness or hardworking virtues. It is individualistic.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that my shoe has been stolen this morning. My shoe that is bought from Bangkok barely a few weeks ago. I reckon the issue is not about the price, or the cost of the item, but the very fact that we don't even feel safe in our own house. It's irritating to think that society has descended into this state, no thanks to the excellent job the Polis Diraja is doing. When every conceivable manpower to employed to investigate a allegation of sodomy against a former DPM, it goes to speak volumnes about the priority of those who walks the corridor of power.

However, just in my wicked and most inappropriate way, I hope and curse that prick that stole my moccasins that he will developed severe allergic reaction when he wears the shoe. May he suffer the conseqences of his action. I stop short of saying 'Fish Your Mother Shoes', for his mother has got no part in his misdemeanor.

Inappropriate people

2008-07-30T12:51:00.003+08:00

I have been practicing in this 'new village' for close to 5 years and I have a compendium of brushes with inappropriate people which can fill a book. Today is no exception, with my latest experience with a 60 year old man.

I reckon respect is given when it is earned. Such is what I am brought up with. It doesn't automatically comes with a person's standing, nor age. Although I am brought up with the old Chinese tradition of 24 types of filial piety, none the less I am still very worked up and irritated by this odd character.

You see, I was in the dark room, developing the xray that I had taken prior, well my practice is an independent setup and I do everything myself, from taking xray to developing it. Yup, a doctor's life is hard, and at times of economic uncertainties like this, it's even tougher., but this is not the story that I am divulging today,.... back to the old man, as I was coming out the dark room, i was shocked to see an old man, capping two mineral bottles and the whole floor virtually flooded. As it is the water tap is located next to the entrance of the dark room, So imagine my chagrin when saw the place filled with water. I pointed towards the tap and informed him that the tap wasn't turned off properly, my exact words, translated from Cantonese "Uncle, the tap is not turned off properly"

Imagine my amazement when he shot back at me and said that I was "arrogant". I was like 'what?', I told him I was just telling him that the tap wasn't turned off completely and the water was still trickling out. Is that wrong? By the way, the area is supposed to be off limits, since it's in the vicinity of a radiation area. A clinic is not a public place, many people are unable to grasps this idea. It's a private place and as any private place, certain areas are off limits.

So is it morally and idealistically wrong for me to tell him that the tap is not turned off properly, denying the obvious fact that the very basis of him being in a 'private' place without express permission is overlooked? Haven't I accorded the proper terminologies in referring him as "Uncle?".

What did I do to deserve this 'arrogant' perception? Is my reaction extraneous? I think not, I was shocked no doubt, but definitely I wasn't rude, nor my intonation out of line. The fact remains that he is not even my patient, but some old fellow that just walked in, without permission (again if I may add) into my private place. Heck I should have bombarded that fellow, but decency got the better of me. I am pissed, no doubt.

The fact remains that if someone who was walking outside wants to go into your house, to use the toilet, isn't it appropriate to deny that person? Or it isn't my right, not to loan the person the toilet or to prevent him from entering any prohibited place? Well all in all, I'd to say that's the so called civilized people of new villages, the state of mentality of our so called cultured and older generation. I reckon the the aptly coined term, "Jinjang people" really does have it's merits. It goes to proof one thing, that is decency, calm and courteousness doesn't come with age, it's ingrained right from young. Old people do behave badly, and young people doesn't necessarily be uncouth and rude.

Pleasant surprise

2008-07-29T18:26:00.002+08:00

Today started a bit different from my previous Tuesday morning, I had to rush to the condo to see the contractor and to decide if I would engage the electrician. Naturally owing to the raising costs of almost everything, I need to be extremely prudent with my money. Anyway that isn't what I intend to write, the past couple of months, apart from dabbling in nonsensical things like writing unsolicitated emails to bumming around, I was in fact busy renovating and shopping for items to furnish my place.

Anyway, the pleasant surprise that I am posting today is in regard to a friend's comment about someone who happens to read my "incessant ramblings". I was taken aback that there are some who actually reads what I write. Well it's flattering, although I reckon, I'll probably need to update more religiously. Looking back it's amazing how technology enriches people's lives. To the mum who read blogs and goes online to chat, I salute you, for you are so IT savvy. At least you are embracing technology with open arms.

I assure you that I am fine and hopefully will be fine in future. Thanks and God Bless.

A mind of their own?

2008-07-18T14:43:00.003+08:00

Living in this age and time, everything is automated, everything has "fuzzy logic" in it, for whatever that means. Even a washing machine has some AI and fuzzy logic which purportedly ends up cleaning the clothes better. Sounds funny? sounds out of this world? Sounds ludicrous? Well, welcome to the new millenium, the 21 century.

What i am wondering if all this so called Artificial intelligence, does a machine really process it? Allow me to elaborate further when I am asking if they have one, for everything from automated teller machines, to dialing the bank or your local telephone exchange and asking for assistance.

As for me, I bank in the takings for my clinic every day or at least once in a few days. Naturally I bank it in via ATMs, and it's easy and convenient, don't get me wrong, but at times it's utterly frustrating and irritating. It's funny when you bank in notes, it is invariably that some will be new, some worn out with some stains on it, and assortment of notes of different denominations. Funny thing is that each individual machine has it's own character. Each has it's whims and fancies. I would no doubt bank into my favorite ATM rather than anyone that's not "engaged". It's because the one that I use, will take most irregular notes, stained? no problem, new? also no problem, "semua hantam". Other machines rejects new notes, and takes old one. Some worst one even rejects everything. So if I were to be forced to use them, I'd end up folding and staining the notes so that the ATM will accept it. I mean why the double standards?

It's especially irritating when they only takes 30 notes at one time and when u slot in 30 notes, 10 will be rejected the first time and then 6 and then 2 and the last one will be rejected a few times. It takes time and looking over the shoulder all the time is pretty intimidating especially when u anticipate the next fellow that shuffles near you might be the one that is planning on robbing you. Well in Bolehland, anything can happen, we have thieves carting away the whole ATM machine barely 100 metres from the police station. What do you expect? Anyway this is not the scope of this post.

Anyone might have had the experience of dialing the local phone directory or a internet service provider asking you to press '0' for operator assistance, dial '1' for menu, dial '2' for products enquiry, dial '3' for technical assistance, and the numerical goes on...irritating isn't it, talking to an electronic voice?

Do they have a mind of their own? I hope not, lest we'd be like some out of Hollywood blockbuster epic. I'd stick to old fashion operator or over the counter banking, thank you very much.

Fed up

2008-03-24T22:36:00.002+08:00

have been trying to avoid posting in this blog, but to no avail. I was so worked up with my stress level that i trashed my notebook. It is now certified koyak. As it is, i have been rather stressed lately, business is slow, as per usual, but on top of that, i have been having sleepless nights. To date my properties are not handed over and it has sort of compounded my anger.

I haven't lashed out a lot lately as i have been trying to internalised what stressed and unpleasant things that i have encountered. I reckon i need to just drop everything and backpack around the world. I had declined the offer of working in Western Australia as the time factor is not at all practical for me. I need to drop everything I have and shift in 2 weeks time. How can i drop everything?

So what can i do? I wonder at times if I am losing it? Just the other saturday, i attended a friends's wedding reception and it was by far one of the most awkward wedding that i've the pleasure of attending. I went alone, without even knowing anyone that I sat with in the table. Needless to say, I ate very little, and left after the 3rd dish.

I am a loner, that much i know, I have been trying to move on, and to get to know more people but to no avail. I think my only option now is to work and work and work and immerse my thoughts in work and nothing else. With this I may even retire in a few years time, not that I'll have a comfortable life, but I reckon I need to change my life.

Just have to constantly remind myself about the light at the end of the tunnel. Just a few more year, just a few more years.

GONG XI FA CAI

2008-02-06T12:39:00.001+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

GONG XI FA CAI

may the year of the rat brings forth good things, wealth and health to all of you

Short Trip

2008-01-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been updating my blog as religiously as last time. I have been meaning to write but as it is, I reckon the obligation to write has sort of escape me. Fact is, I have loads and loads of things to write about, from pure exuberance to something that is utterly depressing. I reckon I only have to pour it out and let my fingers do the "talking".

I will be leaving for a short break from work tomorrow. I reckon it's a well deserved break after having such a tumultuous few months. Nothing major actually but it's those nitty gritty stuffs that tend to get to you the most. I have been having a very short temper, and controlling myself tends to be increasingly difficult lately, which is why I reckon this break from work for 5 days is by itself a therapy to rejuvenate my blunted senses.

I hope by the time I get back things will return to some normalcy, hopefully my stress will be somewhat alleviated. I need to be at my best when I get back home, it will be extremely difficult for me post CNY as I would have to take delivery of 2 of my properties. I reckon I would be in for a busy ride ahead having to renovate and multitask whilst working in my clinic. Employing a part time doctor did cross my mind, which I think I have to start looking now.

Anyway let's hope this short trip is fulfilling and hope I can enjoy myself a bit. Here's hoping for a jolly good time. Cheers~!

Goodbye and Hello

2007-12-31T11:34:00.000+08:00

364 days have passed, some with aplomb and many with emotional roller coaster. As 2007 draws to it's close and when the clock strikes 12 tonight, a new and hopefully a better year replaces it. This is not to say that 2007 is entirely bad, but far from it.

It was the year of learning, of experiencing and trials that makes a person stronger and more experienced. It also is a year of humility as well as making this canine more matured as he thought he was. All in all a productive and interesting year.

As much as I appreciate all those topsy turvy emotional journeys, I hope and pray that the coming 2008 will be less turbulent, and more peaceful. Excitement is fine, but too much of it is a bit overwhelming for this old dog.

When the clock strikes 12 tonight, I would be embracing the new year with open arms, a strong believe in good things to come, arm with a prayer that solemnly pray for all humanities' wellbeing and hopefully can say the same when 2008 runs out and 2009 beckons.

Happy New Year and many happy returns of the day, may 2008 brings forth good things and happiness and health in whatever you do. Peace out.

So long friend...

2007-12-27T14:22:00.000+08:00

I have been in the medical line since I started with medical school way back in 1991. It was then when i bought my own stethoscope, one that i had bought with my own money from a quaint little medical outlet in one of the shops opposite Subang Jaya Medical Centre. I could still remember clearly taking the bus, a Sri Jaya bus there and to buy it. If memory serves me right, I paid 139 bucks for my Littmann Classic II stethoscope.

Armed with my own personal stethoscope, I embarked into the new journey to seek knowledge in a foreign land, in India to learn the finer points of being a good medical practitioner. My stethoscope has been with me through thick and thin, helping me pass my clinical exams until I graduated first class in my Medical degree. I had detected all sorts of funny noise emanated from our body, from the lung sounds, to those obscure clicking sound of the heart valves, the snapping when a diseased mitral valves closes, the whooshing sound of a murmur to the intestinal movements, the gurgling and twisting of the bowels. It had also functioned as a "fashion" statement, being able to proudly hang it across my shoulder or just plain hanging from my neck. I cannot imagine it has already served me for 16 long years, my old Littmann.

On the afternoon of 26th december, my trusty old stethoscope was no more. The metal within the rubber body broke and gave way. I reckon I will need to get a new one, but the memory of my old companion lingers on and will always be in my heart and mind. Good bye friend and it was my and honor and my pleasure to brace all those tests and incidences with you.

Christmas Day and heartbreak

2007-12-26T19:08:00.000+08:00

December the 25th, the day Jesus was born, although not entirely true, but it's taken as the day and celebrated throughout the world. Well maybe with the exception of Orthodox Christianity. How did I celebrate this magical and blessed day? I am ashamed to say that I spent it alone, at home, with nothing to do, no where to go.

Ah well, I reckon life's pretty much the same, nothing has changed, I took the opportunity to take the day off, to unwind and relax, but relax i did, within the confines of my room, napping at times, and staring at the Idiot Box. Micheal and Sam Hui's old classic came on the air, and I watched it to it's entirety. It was nostalgic and fun, reminding of my youth when I vaguely remembered humming Sam's catchy tune. I cannot imagine it has been more than 2 decades, how time really flies.

Today is Boxing day, and here I am sitting in my clinic and working. At times I am jealous of those that work 5 days week, and still have the cheek to complain about how bad their work hours are. But hey, it's always greener over the other side and I reckon. I am also jealous of the people that has taken the time off from work until the end of the year, traveling and enjoying their holidays elsewhere.

I also remember the same day 3 years back when a giant tsunami triggered by some powerful earthquakes began to make it's ways throughout the Asian Shores, the devastating lost of lives as well as infrastructures are very humbling, my heartfelt condolences to those who has lost loved ones as well as friends. It seem that it's just like yesterday when the catastrophe happened.

I hope when the New Year starts in a few more days, whatever that was bad in 2007 will be closed and a brighter new chapter will open full of positivity and optimism.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-24T18:47:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
MAY THIS BLESSED AND MAGICAL CHRISTMAS BRINGS GOOD NEWS, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. EVERYONE MAKE MORE MONEY YA!! :P

Watermark

2007-11-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

I haven't been updating my blog recently. I reckon my mind is so occupied with things that I am unable to even write what I am thinking, let alone feel.

anyway this song is by Enya, and called watermark, i find it a very beautiful and meaningful song. I used to listen to it time and time again, closing my eyes and dreaming whilst I was still in medical school. That was like ages ago. Anyway here goes...watermark by enya..

Yearn

2007-10-31T19:09:00.000+08:00

An incident 2 years back totally change my life. I was in denial and nonchalantly going about my life, without a care as to what happened but on the morning of 31st of October 2005, my life changed dramatically.

I have lost someone i loved dearly. At times I cannot comprehend how time flies. It felt it was just yesterday that I was still talking to her, holding her hands and feeling her presence, and suddenly she is no longer there.

Today is my mum's death anniversary. Time really flies and I miss her no less than when I lost her 2 years back. I hope and pray that where ever she is, she will be blessed and be constantly in my prayers and thoughts. May the blessing of the triple gem be on her. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.

sick

2007-10-17T10:30:00.001+08:00

Not feeling well these past few days. Having sniffles and a wicked sore throat. Sometimes I wonder if I haven't had enough rest but it started as soon as the Raya holiday was done. I was off for 2 days and i spend my days off sleeping. You heard me right, I was sleeping and sleeping and boy I really couldn't remember when was the last time I slept so much. Probably aeon's ago.

Anyway, I am currently down with a bad sore throat as well as a some low grade fever. Needless to say I am taking medications to help alleviate my condition. I look back and the last time I was sick was like a couple of months back. Gone were the days when I don't get sick, but hey, having exposed myself to torrents of organisms and not get sick once a week is sort of a miracle in the making already. Coupled with not enough sleep/rest and exercise...You do the maths.

I reckon the weather and the incessant rain also play a pivotal role in my latest infirmity. Although I concede I am not longer as young or as fit as I want to. I just hope that I'll be tip top in a day or two and working now seems to be worst than usual. I find it difficult to communicate with my patients especially having a hoarse voice like what I have at the moment. In a couple of hours more, I might totally lose my verbal activity. Hopefully the medicine that I am taking would prevent this from happening.

Here's to drinking plenty of water and visiting the loo often.

We know we are Malaysians

2007-10-11T17:57:00.000+08:00

We know we are Malaysians when ...

1) we spend hundreds of millions to put a tourist in space but is unable to provide decent pay for our servicemen.

2) we build super expensive SMART tunnel drainage system which is unable to prevent floods

3) we spend loads on an international airport only to be used as a place to house Banglas.

4) we resurface roads only to be dug up later by utility companies

5) have laws but no implementation.

6) we have chauvinistic Male MPs vilifying a woman's period in parliament and getting away scott free.

7) we have to pay for the repair of a bridge that costs more than the initial cost of the bridge due to shoddy workmanship

8) Get discounts for not paying your compound fines on time.

9) the parliament discusses punishment for a student for singing a rap version of the national anthem but nothing is being done to catch the snatch thieves and criminals that murder, rape and pillage.

10) when a boy who forgot to carry his ID card was jailed 6 months and murderers gets away scott free.

Mid week

2007-10-10T14:40:00.000+08:00

Another few more days to go....., deep inside my mind, i have to constantly remind myself to be patient and the weekend is looming. It's during this weekend that I have at least some semblance of a normal life. One thing that needs to be celebrated though, this particular weekend is better in the sense that it's a holiday weekend, which basically translates into a longer "break".

So how has life been treating "moi". First thing firsts, nothing much changed, and the status remains at a "quo". Working day in and day out, without having much time is what I have grown accustomed to. I reckon having to constantly fight it is no solution, just have to look at the brighter side of things and nonchalantly taking it one day at a time, single stride at the time.

Can I imagine myself being in the same situation in a few years?, truth be told, I don't plan to be in the same predicament when the time comes, I am planning to semi retire in about 4 years when I touch 40, but alas being practical, I reckon a little beyond that is what I need to at least set my plans into action.

I have been a bit slow to start building a comfortable "nest" which I could retire on, but sad to say, it hasn't been going according to plan. If things continue at the current pace, I could imagine that my plan of retiring in 4 years needs to be doubled, although I am actively striving to get my plans underway before the deadline.

Hopefully, with loads of hard work, grit and plenty of luck, my fortunes will change and I'd be sipping my cold Heneiken somewhere in another few years time, but zipping back to reality, it's midweek and the daily grind is still very real. Ah well, it's never harmful to fantasize a bit. Alas back to work.

Jump

2007-10-09T10:47:00.000+08:00

Currently listening to oldies but goodies, Pointer sister's "Jump- for my love". A cute song, from yesteryears.

Sometimes listening to oldies brings old memories from my yesteryears. If I can move and shake my booty, I would although I might add that it would be totally inappropriate conduct to pull something like this in my clinic. Ah well, maybe I'd do that when i am in my comfort zone at home. hehe.

What is in store for the long hours today? Absolutely nothing. It's a waiting game and currently the onus is for me to sit and wait. Its' boring to the hilt, I know.

Anyway listening to that song at least helps to alleviate my feelings. Isn't it a wonder that a single song can help chase the blues away? :)

Here's a song with Hugh doing his "stuff" in Love Actually, dorky as he is, I wonder if I am even able to replicate his "moves" with my stiff back? :p Anyway here goes............ JUMP!

Long time coming

2007-10-05T19:09:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is the day that I can rest although a little, i have plenty of things mapped out and have to get it done before the day ends. Sometimes I wonder if having only a day which i am not at work is sufficient? Truth be told I am sure it isn't but I don't seem the see any alternative in this present arrangement. Maybe in another year, when things are picking up, I might be able to take a partner or a part time locum to cover one of the days.

The most important order of the day is to get my teeth checked. Yeah, I have been meaning to get it done for a long time but it keeps being postponed due to my inappropriate timing as well as other more pressing issues that I need to address. I made an appointment with my former classmate so that I could get my teeth examined and if need be, scaled and cleaned. I don't think there is anything serious with my teeth at the present moment, but still it needs to be subjected to dental examination every 6 months or so.

For someone my age, having a full set of real teeth is by no means easy. I have seen plenty of my friends, having dentures. Maybe it's their habit of smoking, drinking and inappropriate hygiene that is accelerating the caries formation and whenever I see receding gum lines, it never fails to give me a shudder. Periodontitis is a huge problem with people in these parts of the world when teeth may become loose and needs to be removed. I reckon buying an electric toothbrush saves me a lot of hassle of brushing it myself. Hehe, lazy man's way to cut corners.

Anyway hope the examination doesn't cause me too much discomfort. If not, when my friend comes to see me for "his" medical condition, I'd give him an extra huge injection!

Another new day

2007-10-04T17:19:00.000+08:00

It's been ages that I have last posted anything. Sometimes I couldn't stop but wonder time is really passing at a much faster speed as compared when I was still young.

Is it accelerating and in a much faster pace compared to last time? It certainly felt like it. I reckon I should be happy though, at least I am not having anything bad happening to me. Consolation aside, someone commented about my appearances. It would seem that I look very haggard and tired. I told them that's due primarily to the ravages of time. It sounded more appropriate thought.

What is my future direction? Seriously time have been speeding me by and I can hardly take a breath, let alone think of my future direction. One things' for sure though, I will most definitely venture into it alone.

Well, another day for me and as the clock strikes 12 tonight, a new day will dawn and I suspect, would be like many days before it. Monotony is the order of my life. One thing though, at least it's a Friday tomorrow.

Death of a Star

2007-09-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

A superb rendition of "Nessun Dorma" by the late Luciano Pavarotti Live in Paris. May his soul rest in peace.

Short Break

2007-08-06T13:03:00.000+08:00

After such a long hiatus without any break, I finally went for a short escapade to Kota Kinabalu. It was an on the spot decision, without any pre plan whatsoever. I was early to the LCCT airport, not knowing how many hours I should be there. Yeah, it has been so long since I fly domestically and imagine my chagrin when I was early by more than one and a half hour.

My flight was scheduled for 6.50am and i was already bumming around as early as 5am in the airport. I checked in, in less then 30 seconds as I wasn't carrying any luggage. The flight was pleasant enough, as the plane screams across the sky with the first break of sunlight appearing on the horizon. I had my trusty ipod to keep me company, as i gaze out from the window, the interplay of lights and color vibrantly making the whole spectacle surreal.

I reached KK International airport right smack on schedule. Immigration was a breeze, I offered my passport to be stamped and i was out in the lobby in a jiffy. Now comes the hardest part, where to go....

Infirmity

2007-07-12T11:19:00.000+08:00

That is what I am feeling lately. I am feeling a bit "under the weather" so to speak, a real ironic statement since I had suspected my current lackluster health to be closely related to the perennial haze that has been ever so generously donated by our neighbors.

Yup, dry irritating cough, runny nose and itching of my eyes are some of the predominant symptoms that I have been experiencing. I have no doubt that it initiated due to the bad quality of air that we have had over the past few days, but on top of that, the situation has been made worst and compounded no doubt to my lack of fluid intake, rest and too much of drinks.

All these microcosms of factors made me developed a bad cough, and a bad sorethroat. I have since added hoarseness of voice to that ever increasing lists of discomfort.

I have since started taking medications for these but as it is, me being a practitioner of western medicine, never did like taking medications. Yes, I do admit, i am myself a bad patient. I recall my nephew is also similar like me in the sense that he doesn't take his anti hypertensive medications as well, and mind you he's a nephrologist. I bet at times doctors can be the worst patients and this maxim holds water especially when it comes to me and my nephew.

I think I would still be like this for the next day or two, and come Saturday when I have my rest I'd recover fast. Till then, I am drinking plenty of fluids and avoid taking any fried and oily food. Hope this will be a short and temporary setback. Onwards to much better things in a few days.

Sickening

2007-07-09T10:23:00.000+08:00

What has our society gone to now? I read with deep sorrow about the case of a young girl in Penang, barely 5 years old, being abducted and murdered. What exactly is happening in this place we call home? I reckon whenever things like this happened, we never stop to ask what is the precursor to this heinous crime?

We, society at large tend to dismiss this as being someone else's problems. I wonder when would we wake up to start taking initiatives and believe that our society is no longer safe as it used to be. Isn't this too close for comfort? I wonder who can commit this heartless and despicable act? Time to wake up and do something.

Chinese Newspapers are reporting that the real perpetrators are actually the mother and her boyfriend. I reckon how could a mother do this to her own flesh and blood?

TGIF

2007-07-06T20:36:00.000+08:00

It Friday, finally! This has got to be one of the worst week that I need to get through. Many things happened and suffice to say that it was not very pleasant. I have trouble sleeping, haven't been eating much, as there was too much on my mind.

Maybe tomorrow I can rest a bit more than usual, since I am not working. I think all these work and more work is destroying my life per se. My relationship is strained beyond repair due primarily to my ungodly work hours. Perhaps I should really quit and retire somewhere alone?

Well, it's my 3rd post since coming back to the blog and here I am, in my old self, bitching and feeling a bit blue. I promised myself that I will try to be more cheerful, and I hope I can achieve it.

Here's to a more pleasant next week. TGIF again. Really need the short break.

postive thoughts

2007-07-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

Yes, have to constantly remind myself about the power of positive thoughts, Things happen but it's really frustrating and sad when people accuse you of something that you never do. I want to emote everything out, but I reckon everything is mind over matter, and pledging to keep posting positive things to post will hopefully alleviate my emotions.

Hmm, what is positive? as sure as the sun rises like clockwork everyday, there is bound to have another day to push all unhappy things behind the back of my mind. I just hope that the day will come, and come fast.

I wish I can stop everything, drop everything and stop to smell the flowers for a change. I cannot wait to see the colors of life which incidentally at this current time happens to be grey and lackluster to my eyes. I cannot wait to get away from the mask like fake facies that I wear everyday to meet my patients.

Anyway, positive thoughts, positive thoughts. Gosh, this is so difficult.

When will it clear? when will it be the end of the tunnel?

A long absence

2007-07-03T11:15:00.000+08:00

It has been such a long time since I update my blog. My last update was in mid March and now it's the beginning of July. How time flies.

How have I been? Well, it's pretty much the same. I have decided that writing would be good, but it would be better to cast away all the unhappy feelings aside and write something positive everyday. Oh well, it would only be reasonable to have a little tinge of bad news but it would be more positives upsides rather than predominantly negative ones.

So how did the past few months go? Suffice to say, it has more negatives than positives, but as i have mentioned prior to this, I pledge to focus more on the positivity of life rather than continuously languish in negative ones. Business has been pretty good lately, I reckon most probably due to the unpredictable weather lately..

I also have been logging in more exercises and it's good since I had been pretty unfit, drinking and piling on weight which is predominantly concentrated around my midsection. I am more lithe and fitter now, which is good. As for my relationship issues, not here to comment, but one thing's though, I am trying not to think too much, choosing to take one day at a time. Eh, am supposed to be concentrating to the positivity of life....at times I tend to divert a bit. :)

I reckon I will try posting and blogging more, and lets hope it would be onto better and brighter things ahead.

Traffic jam

2007-01-31T21:20:00.000+08:00

While on the way to work this morning, I was caught in a jam that was primarily due to the Thaipusam float possesions and devotees throwing coconuts on the road. I have no problems with acts of devotion to the divine and deities but indescriminate throwing of coconuts on the road is plain dangerous.

I don't know why are the coconuts littered on the road and I reckon there must be some religious significance to it, but as it is, the safety and the wellbeing of the motorists are of paramount importance. I saw a near accident that made me contemplate about the manner which it happen, and thank god that nothing happen to the motorcyclist.

I reckon tomorrow will be another day which is going to be jammed and i would need to get up earlier and go to work. To all the Hindu devotees, I wish them Happy Thaipusam

Singapore trip

2007-01-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

Yup went for a short visit to our neighbor down south and it was a very tiring trip. One glaring thing about Singapore is that it's clean, much cleaner than our country. I think overall organisation of that place trumps Malaysia hands down.

I reckon why is it the case? Fact is 4 decades ago, it's a part of us, small and supposedly insignificant blip in the landscape and now, they are so ahead of us in all fields, everything from the standard of living to it's superb public transportation.

Whenever I see Singapore, I see what Malaysia could have been but along the way, we squandered our national resources not to mention wealth. I think if the people that decides and implement things will need to seriously buck up. Whatever it is, we are losing out big time.

Scavengers

2007-01-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

As I was walking towards my clinic today, I reckon my guardian angel was looking out for me. In a stroke of luck, what could have been a grave injury was twarted simply because I opened my eyes and watched every step I took. Just yesterday the drain was covered but today, viola! for some unknown reason, lo and behold, it's vanished.

Recently there have been a spate of small time thefts of all these metal objects, from cables, drain covers, electricity poles, fencing and even my gas tanks, yup, gas tanks, those yellow metal cooking gas tanks that i have had the misfortune of being stolen from my place, ....TWICE.

I think the situation has deplore into this state, and the authorities are not doing their part in preventing this from occurring. Money is small compared to grave injuries sustained from this petty crimes. Lives are lost, injuries and emotional suffering is the end product of this petty thievery.

To all those besi buruk fellas, I want to tell them not to entertain and buy from those people that steals and plunder all those public properties and to report to the authorities . This madness needs to be stopped.

New Condo

2007-01-17T11:22:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday after servicing my car, I went to the site where I bought my condo. It's located in Dutamas and is supposedly an entry level condo, nothing fancy as I reckon this being my first property I was practically a newbie when it comes to property investing. Actually I am still but all these while loitering in the Real Estate forum, I reckon I picked up some pointers here and there, especially from my girlfriend, Jagsy, she's a real big timer as compared to me, but that is a completely different story.

Anyway I visited the place and in my untrained eyes, I reckon it was passable, not that good, but passable. Workmanship is not as atrocious as one of the other condos around my place, but all in all it could be better.

I went inside the unit, and I was checking out the workmanship as the handing over of the property would be delayed until the beginning of next year. This is the state of legislature in Malaysia whereby developers are always taking purchasers for a ride, anyway nothing much I can do, as what they promised by handing over the unit by end of this year is just that, lip service.

One thing though, the unit looks and appears smaller as compared to the show room which is blatant misrepresentation, again difficult to contest as the developers have demolished the show unit, no doubt to prevent comparison with the actual unit.

One pleasant thing from this is that I reckon being the first ever property I bought, at least it didn't turn out as bad as I had envisioned it to be. Lets just hope that things will work out fine and I wont lose money in this venture.

And now to the second and third property that I bought.....Cheers!

Car Service

2007-01-14T13:37:00.000+08:00

It was saturday and I had made prior arrangement to get my car serviced in Ford Concessionaires and it was scheduled for 10am in the morning. I reach the place at around the stipulated time frame. I own a Ford Escape which I bought it pre owned, and this is my first service.

To cut a long story short, it was the longest ever service that I had ever experience. It took at least 4 hours to merely change the engine oil and the air and oil filter. I notice from the service booklet it was supposed to take 0.8hours to get it done.

I was wondering if it really does need so long to get a cars serviced? Perhaps it's because there is only one authorised service centre for Ford in the whole of Malaysia? And for whatever it is, it costs me 300 odd to just change into a semi synthetic oil. I reckon it's far too expensive.

Apart from that upon inspection of the car, there are numerous things that need to be changed? Including the shock absorbers, the disc brakes and everything is running into the thousands. I just wondered if it's an accepted norm to tell the customers that everything is not working properly and a change is imminent?

A new year a new resolution?

2007-01-12T20:47:00.000+08:00

Happy new year 2007. Haven't been blogging for so long, I reckon I don't know where and how to start. As per any new year, there is always a long list of resolution that many will jot down. I used to do this as in any person but the recent years I haven't been exactly listing any of them down. Most of the time the resolution goes unfulfilled and it has gotten to a stage that I don't even want to have any resolution at all.

Anyway just a short post to wish everyone either young or old, male or female, irrespective of religion, socio economic status, nationalities, I wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that the new year brings unlimited blessings and happiness, not to mention good health.

A prang

2006-12-06T10:05:00.000+08:00

It's nearing the end of 2006, the month being December, I reflect and wonder how time really flies. It has been ages ago in blogsphere that I last updated my blog, I look back and noticed that my last entry was on the 17th of November, the month which I was born, the month which I first set foot in this world. November being the penultimate month, seems to bring more downsides rather than upsides.

For starters, the begining of the month sees my newly acquired preowned car being banged into. Yup, I haven't even started paying for it's first installment. A school bus, painted bright yellow/ amber just nonchalantly banged my stationary, parked ride and casually ran off. I wonder if that's the normal tactic that is being employed by drivers throughout Malaysia? I holler at the driver to stop but as it seems, he just ignored and ran off. I bet 20 years ago, things like this wouldn't happen as people were more emphatic then.

It pisses me off so much that I HAD to report to the traffic police. I lodged a report the same day. It was required by law to report within 24 hours, failing which will made all claims null and void. I did my civic duty to report but imagine to my dismay, the crowd that is there makes the immigration department's queue seems like a stroll in a park! I wonder if laws concocted in malaysia is meant to inconvinience the public? Whoever have the will power to wait hours to merely report a prang? I couldn't believe my ears when I was informed that all KL vehicular accidents are handled by just one police station, which explains the overwhelming crowd. I reckon many victims are turned off and disgusted by this queue. I was too, but I preservered and lodged my report after a few harrowing and irritating hours.

My aim of reporting is not to claim insurance, my aim is to press a point to that driver in the amber school bus. You cannot hit and run, especially when you are given the responsibility and the trust to usher school going kids. To the driver of bus number BAT1010, this is a lesson that I am teaching you, that is to be responsible.

One Year Anniversary

2006-11-17T19:30:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will the one year anniversary of my mum's death. Actually according to the english calender it would be on the 30th of October but since my family is chinese, we are following the lunar calender.

I just cannot imagine how time flies. Just one year ago, I was taking care of mum and now it's a year. Sometimes I feel that life's so insignificant and whatever we have here is transitional and non permanent. I reckon everyone passes away, why bother to work and make money? At the very end, everything ends in naught.

For a fact I find life filled with obstacles. But I do reckon that as obstacles present itself, we either languish in self pity or fight to over come whatever inconvinieces that presents itself. I am telling myself to weather through all these.

Life goes on. Whever mum is, my prayers are with her.

10.10.2006

2006-10-10T20:45:00.000+08:00

Today is the 10th of October, in a few more days is my mum's death anniversary. She has passed on for close to a year. I wonder if she is in a much better existence as compared to here. I love my mother and I miss her terribly.

Sometimes I wonder what is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of us being here in the first place? Is it to experience life's little secrets? Life's secret of birth, growing old, sickness and death? As paranoid as it can sound eventually everyone dies, as sad as it is, no one escapes from this outcome, not even the most powerful man in the world, no one.

So why do we have to linger and languish in things that dismay and saddens' us? I reckon the appropriate use of our time here to get what we want and to acheive ultimate bliss and happiness is what is the most important in this old canine's opinion,....just like what my mum advocated. I promise her that I will do the best I can to be happy and to take one day at a time.

Tabloid Anyone?

2006-08-29T10:39:00.000+08:00

I am a voracious reader not to mention that I pride myself of having keep abreast with the current issues that is plaguing our daily lifes and what is happening arond the world. After a hard days work I reached home yesterday and I as per usual turn on the TV. I had the shock of my life when I saw the "wedding" of the century.

Equally disturbing was the airing 'live' of a reality show that has been the talk of the local dailies for the pass few weeks. But seriously why the charades? A breakup televised nationally? My, what has this country descent into? The PITS? Why would I, want to know who married who and who split with who? My time would be better spent, reading a nice book over a cup of coffee.

The fact remains that malaysians as such are suckers for tabloid. It's human nature to see what their favourite celebrities are with and what they are currently doing. I think these are best left to those "specialised" tabloid materials. But on National televised "live"? I was appalled not to mention that it gives a bad taste to my mouth.

Well I for one will never ever let my private life television to the public. I would feel naked and the very fabric of my personal life, intruded. Yucks. I cannot imagine what are going in the minds of people like this. But I reckon I would never know.

A harebrained idea

2006-07-27T09:45:00.000+08:00

I have been trying to kick a dumb idea out of my mind for a long time. It has been continously creeping into my thoughts especially after coming back from the Philipines. I think due to the slowness of medical practice I am having some the idea creeping ever so constantly in my mind, and what may this idea be? It is to meddle with internet business. I am no IT expert, I reckon since I am spending so much time developing a relationship with my notebook, I figure why not pour my energy, time and some little rersources on setting up a website to link to the property forum that I had started and this blog and maybe get some serious cash flow inwards? Hmm, as harebrained an idea as it can be, I think it might just work.

So what exactly is that harebrained idea? Well I have always been a t-shirt guy and why not source for cheap and "unique" designs and try marketing it over the net? I mean, there are loads of sites selling Ts but those that are completely unique are not available widely here. I saw some that caught my eye while in philipines and as such i brought some back as samples to see if it actually is feasible a venture to go into. Anyway I will post some pictures here and hopefully someone (god willing) can give me some inputs, some of the Tees are pretty witty and cute, and some downright "filthy" but all in all, in good fun.

Anyway I have plenty more designs and I reckon the two above would suffice for the moment.

Exclusive News?

2006-07-18T09:48:00.000+08:00

My routine for the morning involves prepping myself for work, it includes listening to the radio for some form of "entertainment" as well as idle chatter. Something invigorating to "shock" and energise my already dull grey matter. After the normal obligatory sequence of events, I naturally picked up the newspaper; the one that I am most used to in terms of layout and sections is non other than The Star, which claims a daily readership in the numbers of millions. Maybe I am a sucker for figures, but I was perhaps drawn to the fact that a million other Malaysians are drawn and is reading the same type of crap as I am.

And the next thing that struck me is, WTF..... literally wtf, the headlines is splattered with the news of the impending matrimony of Siti and her 20 year older fiancee? Well let me reiterate my WTF again. It's totally inappropriate not to mention ludicrous. Why the heck that I, one of the nameless millions that pay rm 1.20 have to read tabloid junks like this? Damn, I should probably stop "donating" my money to rediculous narrow minded dickheads in The Star.

Isn't there loads of news happening around the world? Isn't mayhem in the Middle East and Human sufferings warrants a head line news? As compared to the "soon" to be fucked Siti? And to top it, she is just silly to be with someone who can be her dad. But hey this is her perogative and I am totally fine with it. But that is exclusive news? Come-on...... If this doesn't pisses off anyone; what else can?

If you argue that Malaysian papers should give priority to Malaysian news, I fully agree, aren't there anymore worth while news to report? Hey if it's in the subsequent variety pages, this out of luck cannine, for one have no problems with that. But Exclusive front page material? Anyway report to me the Mini Tsunami that has happen in Indonesia, a neighbouring country, however small and ? insignificant in the eyes of the editors are news to me.

For an old dog with nothing to do, yeah, blogging seems to be the only outlet that I can have to express this rediculous episode apart from writing to the "Opinions section". Perhaps the next headlines should scream, "I had sex with my new proton"..... now that would be worth splurging rm 1.20 on!

Males Vs Females

2006-07-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

I have been a regular free to air radio listener. I am not a radio junkie, nor I am a radio nut, but for starters I listen to mix fm's morning show and the deejays there are pretty funny people abeit a little sarcastic at times. I reckon it's all for good fun and I am fine with it. As I prepare to get ready for work, I always tune to that station and there are numerous games on air, the battle of the sexes, the wrong answer game, quizes and other "made" to order, appeal to the masses types of easy, no brains required games.

What particularly caught my eye err or rather my "ears" were the particular trivial games show between males and females, the so called "Battle of the Sexes", it by itself sounds heavy and intriguing to say the very least. What more can a satirical game show be based upon? Pitting wits and also intelligence between "yin and yang".

As per the norm, the opponents pitted against each other and the winner will win some sponsored prizes all in good fun. The things that irks me the most is that the questions are easy and with multiple choices to choose from, in other words u have a 1 in 3 chances of hitting the correct answer and guess what? The guys always, and I mean ALWAYS loses! If this doesn't reflect the state of general knowledge in our population nowadays, I don't know what will. It's sad to listen to young supposedly "intelligent" city dwellers, savvy and what not, not even knowing that is happening around our world. It's disappointing to know that certain questions pertaining to everyday items are not even known to jokers like this.

Today's game for instance, a questions put out to the male contestant, is, " In Russia the queen of Russia as opposed to the King, who incidently is called a Tsar, is what? Answers includes Tsarika, Tsarina, and another which I forgot, and as expected the male chap in a balance of probability of 33.33% answered the wrong one. What can I say apart from shaking my head? I reckon I am not excellent when it comes to general knowledge, but the least I can do is to "hantam" the right answer??

Well, as malufying (taking a leaf from eve's most prolific word) I reckon it's goes to show that males are a bunch of losers. Damn, let me register for the next battle!

Philipinas

2006-07-05T09:34:00.000+08:00

Over the last weekend, I have been running around a lot. I decided to close for a short break to the Philipines and boy, couldn't things go any wrong that it had already. I woke uo at 5 am in the morning, super early for someone like me that sleeps pretty late, As a precaution my darling woke me up with an early morning call! kekekeke, what a life, to have someone so caring and concerned about me.

Anyway I left KL on board a flight bound for a super duper small airfield in what is called the Pampanga or whatever that it's called. It's an old air force base and naturally everything looks a bit flat! I was taken aback as I initially thought that it is very near to Manila and I couldn't be more wrong. It's more like Ipoh and KL! So the travelling starts..........

We stayed one night in Pampanga and it was seriously boring, so boring that there is nothing to do, apart from shooting pool and drinking in the pub. Naturally that place being in such close proximity with the air force base, there are more than it's share of agogo bars and areas of promiscuity. Not a place someone like me is comfortable with. But then again, due to the very low standards of living, there are more than the mixture of expats that fuel this booming place. I reckon this is going to be the next destination for DOMs in the future, overtaking the other haven like Hadyaai or even Phuket. Eww, to even think of it makes me want to puke.

The foods there are totally terrible. There is one chinese themed fast food place called Chow King and seriously my 12 year of neice can cook better than that. I don't know the business is still booming, ordinarily it would had closed up by now. But then again, those expats that is staying in pampanga are beyond comprehension.

We left pampanga the next day and took a bus to Manila, one word best describe it, chaotic and traffic jams! The cars and buses are separated by a mere inch to each other and it is really no fun. The exhaust fumes are like "stereo" effect, enveloping me from all fronts. All in all, I reckon my lifespan has shortened by at least a few days. Well in Manila there is at least some semblance of a normal city, with things to see and to buy. I probably spend loads of time browsing through oil paintings and also souveniours. Now this is more my type of a holiday. Walking and seeing things that is unique to that city. Life's been pretty hectic for Metro Manila folks and the inccessant political instability, it's a miracle life can still function. This place is so lawless that everyone seems to be carrying a fire arm, even going into the shopping centre, the security carries a side arm and a huge pump action gun. Imagine being frisks everytime u want to go in the complex to eat something!!

We stayed in a small hotel, called Euro motel or something like that in one of the suburbs off Manila. It is not cheap but the fact remains that the general Filipino populace are ahem, procreating like mad. We went out, there are "couples" waiting for hour usage of the rooms, we got back there are couples, it wouldn't be surprising that at 3 am, there are still people waiting to USE the stupid rooms! Makes me want to puke. By noon we were out scouting the place that we wanted to open a "car wash" it was busy, there are cabs all over and cars were coming in non stop for their daily wash. Actually not a bad business proposal, but the lawlessness is actually getting to me.

We checked out first thing in the morning and left to the airport. In my opinion, best thing that happen to me. I am so looking forward to talk to my darling. I never felt so enthusiatic about getting back to work. Hmm, as a matter of fact, dang, I am so looking forward to work, probably because i can talk to her.

Philipines is a humongus no no for me.

10 things to do before I die

2006-06-27T10:28:00.000+08:00

Yup as morbid as it may sound eventually everyone dies. I will too but i reckon I have a plan, or rather plans to complete certain tasks before I meet my creator.

the list is by no means in order of importance, but it is what I intend to at least do before I move to a different existence......

1) Travel around the world

For me nothing beats experiencing and soaking up a new place. What can I say? I am a sucker for travelling. I like visiting places that I haven't been, I like eating local delicacies that aren't available in my home country. For me the best way to travel is by foot. I enjoy going on long walks especially with the love of my life and soaking up what the locals do, and not merely travel like "itinery dictated packaged" tourists. I am different in that sense. I like to take my own sweet time and do what I want.

2) Run a marathon

I reckon this is the single most easily achievable aim of mine in present and problem remains that the longer I wait, the more difficult it would become. I am not getting any younger, and I reckon for me to complete this feat, it would have to be in the next couple of years. I am currently logging 15 Kms in one and half hours. My aim is to not to beat the clock, but to beat myself. I surmise that I should be able to conservatively complete a full marathon, all 26 miles or 42 kms of it in 4 hours and 20 mins, but if I can do it in 6 hours, I would die a happy man.

3) Bungee jumping and sky diving

This I have to do at least once before I "konked" off. I reckon for some one with some amount of phobia for heights, I am staring straight into my phobia right to the eyes. I reckon I'd only live once and as such should go all out for it.

4) Obtain my PPL's

another one of my passion is flying. Not sitting in those cramp commercial jet planes, flying 15 hours to a new destination, but those single engined plane, where i can pilot myself and fly towards the blue yonder. Till now all this has remain a dream, but I reckon I would want to get my licence to fly before I leave.

5) Find someone

One of the top on my "to - do - list", so far I have met a special someone that I am totally in love with. I hope and pray that this is the one. I have never felt so happy in my life, and I am so looking forward to spend my life with her.

6) Stop work and join a MSF

Yes, my life long passion. I have an inate feeling of wanting to serve people, not for a profit but for the sake of making our world a better place. I have always respected those people that can give up their life and to help other humans less fortunate that us. For that I salute those selfless people and their acts of kindness. I for one, will do it, when things are better and more stable. A pledge to do what I view as my calling.

7) climb mount everest

something that is appealing to my outward and competitive nature yet again. For this I reckon physical fitness would be an issue, and which is why I am on a time line. I hope that it would eventually do it.

8) Have kids of my own

Well, I am getting older by the day, and by conservative estimates I am in a perilous situation. Fact is everything hinges on 5). I will not delve further on this.

9) rid my phobio of snakes

I don't know if I can do it, I have always have a phobia of snakes since time immemorial. I wonder if I can ever shake this away, but I would at least try.

10) Make my own first million by 40.

Self explanatory. I am actually striving to do just that this current moment.

All in all my aim in life is not something that I feel is unacheivable. Perhaps with a little bit of luck and support (mental ones) I might be well on my way towards it.....:))

What hit me?

2006-06-13T17:19:00.000+08:00

I have been posting in the real estate forum, this time the one that we set up. For the want of impartiality we aren't moderators or even administrator and this has been keeping up for a week, everything was fine, I am in my usual self, posting some advice here and there, with loads of loose talk in between. Our way of spicing up the forum so to speak.

I mean a forum is where we exchange ideas and to network and as it is the forum that we had rocks! well that was until something hit me like a train. Something that until now, me, a supposedly main cast, is totally in the dark. I didn't know what happen, so much so that many of the members are asking me to tell them the reason. As much as I want to tell everyone and everybody that cared, I really really don't know.

The fact is that I have been fast friends with one of them and all in all I held high regards for him, even to the extend of treating him as a brother. I have been seeking advice from him, and have been totally straighforward in volunteering information about myself to him, not that was any issue as I trusted him wholeheartedly and completely, but in a span of a few hours everything changed. I reckon I must had said something completely out of line, or I might had inadvertantly pissed him off to an extend that even friendship is impossible. I tried explaining to him as well as written an apology to him if what I had rebutted in the open forum actually hit a raw nerve but to no avail. I even went to the extend of smsing him, but that didn't generate any response.

What could I have done to warrant such a reaction? Well I seriously don't know. I reflect back and also reread what I had written over the forum but I don't see any major problems or even overboard posts. We have been posting in the same vein since the last forum. So I concluded that it cannot be the posts. It would probably be more than that., which really bug me. I am here, being the instigator and I am not sure what mess I stroked up as well.

For me, I value and treasure a friend and as such finds it difficult to comprehen what was the actual reason. Suffice to say that it would be better for me to lie low and to find the actual reason of this animosity. For whatever's worth, I reckon I would miss this friend.

The day that never was

2006-06-09T10:58:00.000+08:00

I am been regularly posting again in my blog, I think this distinctive merit needs to be attributed to a certain person that has been urging me on, so I'm taking this opportunity to thank that special someone. Thanks ya!

Anyway coming back to my posts, ever wondered about the inccesant adverts that have been plastered all over our communicative media like the dailies, radio, and TV? Another day is beckoning towards us and it's father's day! Last week it was mother's day, err or was it last month? Fact is I have been mystified by the number of days that is attributed to various groups of people, nurses, labour, secretary, police, army, and even an animals and what not, have a special day's attributed to them.

Coming back; there are days to honour neighbours, civil servants and even days for those madly in love. The good 'ole Valentines's day, there is a chinese version of Valentines, Indian version and so and so forth. There are even days attributed to people that had died, both chinese, indian and our caucasion counterparts. All in all a very good time for "Days".

Mind you, the people in general loves days that have a special meaning, I do to in fact, but it's been bugging that there these special days are overly commercialised. Big hotels would hold special dinners and function to "celebrate" all these days, not because that actually believe in it, but merely to rake in a handsome profit. Shopping complexes would hold "special" sales and events to mark the days. Govermental organisation would organise functions to "appreciate" these certain groups of people. NGO's would held carnivals to appreciate those, and even animals get their own day.

Thus you would think that it would be in their best interests to have all the days that they want and celebrate it merely for financialy gratification or for recognistion and propagation of it's own agenda. But there is something that does not add up. Has anyone ever notice that there is NO Doctor's day?

An update

2006-05-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

I haven't been diligently posting in the blog and I have sort of lost the enthusiasm and the urge to write something. I need to rekindle my enthusiasm to write not for any other reason apart from the fact that writing helps me unwind as well as destresses my already finicky lifestyle, for I have been too busy with my work, not neccesarily in a good way though, but I have been busy, Tax season is coming and as such there are loads of "loose ends" to tie up.

Recent notable happenings in my life include going to the shooting range and firing live bullets, it was an experience of a life time and it affects me in a few ways, one of them is giving me a sore arm. But it was an eye opener and I actually enjoy being like "Chow Yuen Fatt" ala A Better Tomorrow style but seriously pulling the trigger of a Glock 16 is not easy, the amount of pressure need to squeeze the trigger is pretty 'hard'. But it was an something different other than that I am doing, and when I squeeze the trigger, deep in my heart I reckon whatever illwill I might have harbour will be going with the bullet.

Business have been pretty quiet lately and I have been sitting, not doing anything in particular apart from my Tax return, and also posting vigorously in the real estate forum. I have since cut down on the time spent there and instead downloading songs and also copying them to my newly acquired toy. I had recently bought an Ipod Photo, for whatever reason but I reckon it would be like for me to listen to music while I go for my long jogs. Anyway I think at times I should pamper myself abit.

Tomorrow would be Saturday and I will probably not do anything much. My next plan would be to catch "Da Vincci code". Just would probably do it later tonite or maybe on Saturday. I'll have to decide in the next few hours.

A day of reckoning

2006-05-15T16:03:00.000+08:00

I haven't been regularly posting in my blog, for this I beg for forgivance. I have been busy these days, having actively scout for a property worth buying as well as being busy managing the whole clinic on my own. As all would probably know it's tax season and as such I am under extreme duress of having to sort out my expenditures and to complete my tax returns. I was previously under the misinformation that I had to submit my returns by end of May but upon further probing it is due only by end of June. For my returns it's business and thus an extension is granted.

Anyway back to what I intend to write, things have been pretty topsy and turvy, nothing that great but nothing akwardly wrong. Shares has it's ups and downs, and I am in the process of liquidating my share holdings, and up to date, had sold around 50% worth of my portfolio, share wise.

As I have mentioned earlier I am also in the process of looking for a good investment property, not that I have so much money, but rather, in my opinion some amount of money that I have managed to earn up to this point in time would be much better used investing in something that will generate me good returns, compared to splurging in some material things that makes me feel good about myself, a nice car for instance. For this I reckon I am too miserly and stingy to buy. I have been "homing" in on a key place, called Mont Kiara which I had been looking and visiting a few properties, but nothing is good value and nice enough for me to put a deposit on it. I view a nice under construction property recently and I am trying to determine if my finances permits me to buy a unit there. It would set me back around 700 grand and I reckon for a first foray into this place, is somewhat over gearing.

Anyway since we are trying to buy in a big group, it would be interesting to see if the developer actually "bite" at our dangled carrot. If all things turns out and align well, I would probably be buying, subjected to if my resources permits me to be eligible for a 700 grand loan from the bank. Whichever way I am looking at it, if it goes either way, today would be a day of reckoning for me for I would know by the end of the day.

The Public transport

2006-05-09T12:56:00.000+08:00

Well, I was going on rambling about my whirlwind visit to our neighbour's down south, but what I wanted to write more compared to my short escapade was when I reached home from the city state. I had taken the super duper, ultra luxury coach bus which costs me 160 bucks return and the bus had somehow manage to reach KL city, at the hotel at 10 pm. The whole journey from the city state took only a little above 4 hours, not bad in my opinion, and not to mention pretty comfortable as well.

Upon setting foot on malaysian soil, the problem started. How to get back, I didn't want to trouble my family to pick me up from a hotel where I disembarked somewhere near KLCC and thus I decided to opt to take our very own, superbly infamous public transport. After waiting for 20 mins for a cab, and trying albeit unsuccessfully to hail a cab, I walked towards the LRT station in K Avenue and proceeded to take the rail to Central Market. I waited for close to 15 minutes before the train arrived and then have to inched myway into the coach crammed pack with people. I reckon it's was a bad start to a bad experience. I reached my station and then have to walk a fair distance to the next bus stop where I had hoped to catch a bus back home.

I waited and waited and waited, but no one bus is servicing the route to my place. I asked the "RapidKL" employee and finally after much probing was told that all previous buses servicing the "suburbs" had to that day ceased operation and that day was the first day that another system is implemented, one which is having to take a few buses to reach my destination. I took the new bus route, hoping to go on a mini adventure since It's only 10 minutes past 11. I noticed many many busses of that same number circling around without any passengers and it costs 2 bucks just to be huddled into the bus and be circulating in a loop back to where I started more than an hour ago. I reached Pekeliling flats after a while with some fellow passengers looking weary and also pretty pissed. Once again I need to alight the bus and walk another distance to another bus stop and wait again for the none existant suburbs bus to take me to my destination. I waited for another half hour, but the bus is nowhere in sight.

I waited and waited and finally decided to walk home. It took me 20 minutes to walk home. 2 and half hours ago and waiting for nothing I was barely 2 kms where I started disembarking from the ultra comfortable coach from Singapore. The transport system is totally shameful and inappropriate. 4.6 billion saved from petrol subsidy and this is what we get? I reckon the population is in for the long haul to frustration.

SG trip

2006-05-08T15:36:00.000+08:00

Well I went to our neighbours down South after a lapse of a few years and it never actually changed so much, Singapore being Singapore was as per usual orderly and "hot". I travelled on the express bus and it was a pleasant journey albeit a little mundane and boring sitting 5 hours in the bus, but this was a business class bus which actually felt pretty comfortable.

I actually went all the way down south for a forum meeting as well as taking this opportunity to take some time off. Clinic had been pretty hectic, not because of the amount of patients, but by the sheer lack of it. Sitting around waiting for clients are in my honest opinion very tiring. But what to do, this is my chosen path and I have to jolly well stick to it.

The meeting was fun and refreshing enough, meeting up with people from diverse educational background as well as those that have a different perspective when it comes to investing in properties, we had a nice time exchanging ideas, having dinner, and also getting pissed drunk as well as getting pretty chilled from the new concept watering hole which is based on super cold ambience. The patrons was given a choice to wear thick winter clothes or sit in a warmer place! We as gung ho opted for the colder place without the thick jackets! Suffice to say that it was damn cold!

reflecting on it I reckon it was time well spent and at least I had a breather that was the lion city at least for a day, now for the mundane work life once again, sigh!

Update

2006-04-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

I haven't been posting and writing as much as I want to lately. After the pretty vocal posts that I had last posted, my anger at their double standards have sort of fizzled out. I actually think I shouldn't be so worked up and let them be, obviously being opinionated and sticking to my principles gets me nowhere.

Okay that aside, things are going on track, I just got my xray licence after applying for close to 9 months. I can now give out a sigh of relieve as I had gotten that sorted out albiet in such a long time. I am now in the process of applying for my Foreigner Medical Checkup license. I have asked someone with deep connections to do the application for me, least it would be fasttracked. I am pretty sick and tired of the long wait. Anyway I reckon I should really relax now as it's definate that my quota would be filled this year, hence that it self would be enough to cover my expenses for my Xray machine.

Another aspect of my life has been pretty lacklustre, nope, relationship's aside, I am talking about my investments, shares are exactly performing, and hence not having as much liquidity as I would have liked. I am also looking into purchasing a property, the latest that I have been viewing is in Mont Kiara. It's nice and has a perfect view of the whole Klang valley, alas the only problem is that the price is not "worth". I am buying for investment and not for stay which means that I need something that can generate me good returns. I really need to be patient and take my time to hunt for one that is worthwhile investing, this game would be as a good friend always say, "played in months" and not in "mins and hours". He has been exhorting me to be patient and chop one that is worth while.

Towards the end of this month I am taking a short break across the causeway, I haven't visited the tiny republic for like 5 years and I reckon having worked so hard, it would be a refreshing break. Well hopefully things will look brighter next month with my licence and my investments. May sounds like a good month!

Inducement?

2006-04-13T18:38:00.000+08:00

Whenever I discuss about big drug companies I always end up getting pissed. These are a bunch of no good vultures and whichever way they think otherwise, it's cold blooded dollar and cents. I might get sued for giving my extreme views about them, but I couldn't care less, sue me if they want, I have experienced the so call "ethical companies" and the way that they deal and do things.

Some dickheads in the hieraki will claim that they are ethical and want to do the best to serve the medical professionals, but heck, we the GPs always get the raw end of the bargain. We consume and purchase the most medications, buying loads from them for we want to buy at the best possible bonus and hence cheaper, but we never get the best and cheapest prices, That is instead reserved for specialist.

I recalled a certain high blood pressure and anticholesterol medication, prices for us "normal" doctors with maximum bonusing is 30%, but for cardiologist it's 45% even in smaller lots. As it is, specialist charge much more then us and they get to have cheaper prices? I wonder what calculations is this based upon, fact is the reason other than wanting those specialist to "use" their medicine they would also want to the sell it to donkeys like us, GP, so that they can claim that this reknown specialist, so and so, is also using their medicines, and like true donkeys we also say, "yah hor, if he uses, I also have to use", dem blardi stupid.

We never get to go for CME ( continuing medical educations), we never get sponsored for so called overseas CMEs (or issit called holidays?) as those people sponsored never actually attend the conference. We don't even get a stupid poster or anything to hang, I have to ask them a few times for a stupid friggin poster, for more than 1 year now, it's still not materialised! I have yet to get my poster. The laughable thing is that I am buying medicine from them. Apart from that, we don't get anything, even pens and calenders also we don't fecking get. Those are "reserved" for themselves as well as their more popular doctors that they want to carry balls for. Why am I pissed? I call this double standards.

So when someone tells me in their 'oh so ethical way' , that they are sponsoring some priviledged doctors for "trips" overseas for CME, I get pissed big time. Oh yah, as for the vaccine for hawkers, the prices that I get from them is 35 bucks per dose, and from the wholesaler is 30 bucks! I will only get a 30bucks per dose price from them if I BUY 30 doses or more. U know what I think? go feck off u leeches.

Touched

2006-04-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

It was like more than a week since my patient passed away, I had done my best in ensuring that she had a reasonable distress free quality of life and the easing of her passing was painless. I was certainly pleasantly surprised with the reaction that I had received from her children.

I was going about my daily activities, seeing, treating and talking to patients, and her children, mostly from abroad dropped by my clinic to return the surplus intravenous drips that I had brought with me when I went there for the house call. They thanked me profusely for talking the trouble to visit and dispense medical care towards her. I was so touched with their gestures of coming and making the effort to see me for something that I didn't think I contributed a lot in helping their mum. For that I felt bad.

Even more surprising was that they actually bought me a few present which I feel is wholly unwarranted, for whatever it is, I did charged them for the home visit. One of the present is a nicely gift wrapped Dunhill pen, it's costs would be something to ponder upon. That wasn't the issue, I didn't want to accept the gift for I wholehearted felt that I didn't anything much, but I relented as I think it would put them at ease. I told them a thank you card would actually suffice. The answer that they gave me really touched me.

I guess all these makes me have a renewed and recharged believe that there are some people out there that actually appreciates what we, the private doctors do, and whom were widely and regularly protrayed as being blood thirsty, money mad and inhumane. It would also give me a more renewed sense of wellbeing, vigor and energy to continue what I have been doing all these while. I just want to tell that instead of them being thankful to me, I have to instead thank them for giving me more optimism and drive to go on. I truly appreciate this for they have really touched my life.

Striking a Balance

2006-03-29T21:31:00.000+08:00

I have been busy lately, having to check in and out on a patient of mine. She's one of the few patient that I have under my care that is on my lists of home visits. I have been treating her since I started practising in this area. She was fine until a few days back when her health suddenly deteriorated. It was early this morning that she passed away. I wasn't surprised with the change of events but that doesn't make me any less sad.

I guess people does moves on and hopefully to a much better existence. I wonder as a person who has been constantly numbed with having to see so much negativity everyday, it's imperative that I keep myself sane and my spirits high. I always wonder what is the driving force that makes me want to wake up every morning and go to work? Is it the sole desire to make money? People would come to me for various stages of discomfort, pain and distress. I bet no one see so much negative energy and aura in a day and as curious as it may sound, financial gratification seems to be the least important driving factor behind my zeal, as crazy as it sounds, I think without compassion I will still be unable to force myself to be up, early in the morning and come to work.

But having said that, I am no angel, nor I am ruthless to only consider monetary compensation. I think as in any profession, what I am hunting for albeit unsuccesfully, is a sense of balance, financial gratification as well as being able to make a difference in helping the sick, infirmed or an uncomfortable person feel better. I might not be able to cure what is bothering the person, but at least I can do is to offer my kind words, my solace as well as my compassion, just like to the old lady that passed away this morning.

I prayed that I had in my 2 years of giving medical care to the old lady, helped her in some ways, hopefully alleviate her sufferings as well as treated her with compassion and care. To the her, I wish her farewell and goodbye, may god bless her soul and shine upon her.

This just in

2006-03-23T17:07:00.000+08:00

This is just in, fresh and hot out of the oven, ignoring goverment calls to stem increase in all essential items, the drug companies are at it again! I should give up to them for being able to screw us, the doctors; with a smiling face, Heck I reckon I need lessons in screwing any person with a straight face! The hidden fact is that drugs as I can recall, has been increasing for god knows how many times, and this, just in from a pharma company that had revised for the 2nd time this year prices for all medicine effective end of this month.

I wonder why do they have to increase everything a few times a year? Is it true that we can offset the costs to the patients? I mean can we defend ourselves and not portray ourselves as a pack of hungry wolfs devoid of any humanity by increasing our charges? I think most of the doctors and private practitioners will grit their teeth and absorb the price increase, I have been doing that for a very long time, since time when I first venture into private practice.

Sometimes the exact reason of why they have to continously increase prices perplexed me. I mean is costs of producing a generic medicine really that high? It's reasonable if it's an original and have trademark owed to the pharmaceutical companies for the expensive R&D that they have to pour in, so reasonable to recoup the capital that has been poured in. But generic medicine? I reckon these area bunch of wolfs masquerading as a sheep. Paying no intellectual property rights, they are pirates that copy people's hard work and selling for a huge profit. I am sure many would shoot me with this comment but seriously something needs to be done.

I heard arguments like marketing fees are expensive, costs of employment is getting more expensive but heck is this even an excuse, I bet the bigger concern nowadays for them is their commitments to their shareholders. I remembered when a certain crony of a goverment happens to develop a brainchild of labelling every single medicine with a sticker and that if anyone can do the maths costs a few cents each! imagine the profit! And who absorbs the fecking costs? Yup you are right, The stupid Doctors.

The lighter side of things

2006-03-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

After being stuck in "hole" for more than a year I can safely say that I tend to look at things at a lighter side, a different perspective rather than get uptight and pissed over every little circumstances. Well, the amount of shit that I had over the pass year has in effect made me pretty numb to bad news. That was the reason that even when I did get burn on the share market I was pretty cool about the whole thing, well bitching aside, I reckon I held on pretty well.

Someone smsed me early this morning to tell me the he has consumed some, actually loads of sleeping pills with some alcohol. I was concerned about it then and it tend to set me aback and made me unable to sleep, why is that so? Upon pondering further I relaxed and cooled down, as I know that even ingestion of a dozen or more tabs of sleeping pills would only make you sleep and drowsy for a few days unless you have some severe lung disease. It wasn't bothering me that much then,but I wonder why does everyone tend to think of ways to self destruct when it comes to things that they cannot handle? I mean why not cool down, refocus and take bad things that happen as being a lesson?

Rather than loose sleep over things that you think is bad, why not take it as perhaps whatever had happen, happens for a reason? For whatever reason it may be, would be for the better? Isn't that a more proactive and positive way to look at the mishaps that had befallen rather than taking the brunt of it as being wholely bad and suffer instead? Fact is that life as we know it are pretty short and being unhappy and to continously delve in depression and woes will only lead to self destruction. Well that's just me after having seen the "light" at the end of a long long tunnel. I am happier now, being able to let loose and take any bad things to come my way, stride by stride, one day at a time.

You know who you are if u read this, I just hope and pray that whatever that has been bothering you, depressing you or plain irritating you, it'll soon past for isn't it always that the sun shines brightly after every heavy downpour?

Tenets of a Relationship

2006-03-21T13:32:00.000+08:00

I have been active in the real estate for the past couple of months and the things that I've learnt there is not confined to merely real estate investing. For instance if we were to extrapolate and apply some of the principles to our daily lives, parellels can actually be seen.

Take relationships for example, it takes time to build rapport and also to gain a potential life partner's trust and confidence, but it only take an incident to evaporate whatever trust and confidence a person has for the other party. Drawing from this a developer needs to do loads of marketing and do some showcase development in order to gain investors' confidence in them, but need but an incident like the crane that landed on an executive's car to break all myth about their reputation. I mean isn't this the essence of being involved and persuing a relationship?

There are upsides and downsides as well in any relationship and after exchanging some ideas and views with my "hot" date and I found there is more than meets the eye, hence there are stories that need to be unfold ever so gently over a period of time. This is how a relationship builds on in my opinion. The foundation in a highrise must be strong and hence in a relationship as well. As can be seen with time, there are 2 scenario that can be achieved, one when you get to know her too well to conclude that she isn't the right one, or second when you feel so darn comfortable with a person that you just cannot live without her. Thus both sides need to be frank, open and to approach a relationship without lies and secrets.

How does a relationship survive? I always have the opinion that communication is one of the pillars of a successful relationship; due to work commitments many couple now a days never actually communicate, prefering to spend their leisure time shopping, gallanvanting as well as holidaying. It would be better to sit face to face over a cuppa and just plain .......... talk. No expensive restaurants, no Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie fighting over their ideals in the silver screen, don't even need a resort and a holiday to actually communicate. Is chatting online an effective way to communicate? in my honest opinion, ..... NO, it isn't. I reckon anyone can speak like and angel over the net, typing beautiful poetry, even verbose words just to entice a person to be interested but emotions will only show with facial expressions. Hence the downsides of chatting.

Understanding is also a very, very important tenets on an effective and ideal relationship, but seriously I haven't met anyone that I feel is understanding even until now. The problem is that old adage of growing old together seems to be just that,... outdated and old. People are so charged up with wanting things their way even to the extend to being mercenary like, just to achieve what they want. I am no angel and deep inside I surmise that I have this "qualities" as well. With deep understanding, both parties can therefore give and take.

I am unsure if in this life I'll meet anyone that fits into this outline and criteria that I have set. That is not to say that the "hot" date that I had last Saturday has anything to do with what I am bitching about now, it's just that I find my criteria a bit unmalleable and unflexible. I am unsure if I should compromise and settle down with one that doesn't fit into the criteria or if my adamant outlook is too stoick to actually cause me to miss the boat and remain single for the rest of my life, your take?

Monday Blues

2006-03-20T12:51:00.000+08:00

It's a new weekday and another page in the history of my life. I tend to flashback some old movies that actually shows the calender being torn one sheet by one as the day moves on. I have been writing and pouring my thoughts as well as emotions into this blog for the past couple of months. My oh my, how time flies, it just felt like a couple of days ago that I initiated this blog.

In the next couple of months, I will be 36, wow! If I am lucky I would be halfway though my life! When I was still in the goverment schools, I always wanted to grow up faster but looking back retrospectively, I would now prefer to forever be in school, studying and without a care in this world. Back then, the only thing that I need to do was to study *ahem* as well as pouring my eyes on the female secondary school kids and get those grades that I wouldn't be a punching bag for. Lady luck as it seems was smiling on me then, I never did badly in any exams and hence never ever got socked even once by my parents. Maybe during that time I had inadvertantly prayed that whatever blessings I might have in my lifetime is to be spent there and then, which goes to say a lot about my present state now. Ah well it isn't so bad that I am suffering or something, just that I reckon whatever I touch and put my hands on with, it doesn't go smoothly as I want it to be. I bet all these boils down to timing as well as blessings. Right?

Okay, didn't actually want to write anything on my "hot" date that I had last Saturday night as I don't know how the other "party" might react. It was nice to meet up with someone with a diverse background, with different experiences and upbringing. I have the opinion that this is a very nice girl and heck it would be my pleasure to get to know her better. Anyway to cut a long story short we had some drinks in the Curve and it was kinda fun, talking and yakking like I always do. I for one, am someone who can turn on and turn off talking whichever way I want even if the other person is none receptive towards what I yak about. Maybe I am too talkative but at times it does work to break the ice, so to speak. Were there any sparks? Difficult to say although I would want to think it did, but hell I bet no one with a right frame of mind would think a meet up constitutes anything more, right?

Half empty or Half full?

2006-03-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

Something interesting pop into my chat screen, I was as per usual chatting with a friend that had incidently lent me a HK series that I have been blabbing around on a few of my previous posts and something incidently caught me off guard.

It sounded funny and it started off like this, the fact is that I had gone through 20 episode of often destressing and at times irritating legal drama only to learn that there is NO ending. I asked for it only to be told that there isn't one, not now not ever. Darn I was damn pissed but what fueled my "pissiness" was her reaction, excerpts from out conversation " it's okaylor, just take it as having 20 hours of entertainment!", I mean WTF, what is THAT supposed to mean? My question remains that would you consider it to be having gone through 20 hours of entertainment and enjoyment, hence Half full, or 20 hours of wasted effort? For me the choice is obvious. I would surmise that it's 20 hours of irritation, 20 hours of loose ends, and 20 hours of my life, wasted. This isn't about whether the movie or drama is good, it is about CLOSURE! Allow me to explain and elaborate what makes me think that.

Hypothetically would anyone rather enjoy something especially when all build on a climax only to know that there is NO climax? Would anyone go and have sex, doing all the hard work but end up not being fulfiled? I think not, at least not for me, I wouldn't want to watse my time, putting all the effort, organising a nice candlelight dinner, choosing the right songs, cooking dinner, choosing an expensive wine, setting the right mood, upping the ambience and tempo only and only to find out that the "date" that I am supposedly having this wicked romantic candle lit dinner with has to rush off for a meeting? I mean all the preemptive preparation is wasted, the effort lost, the mood gone. Drawing parellel, would this be term half empty or half full?

In a similar vein, take this next scenario, when a obstetrician does a ceaserean section to deliver the baby, but in the process, inadvertantly cut the face of the baby, creating a scar on it's face, would u take it as "oh well, at least ur baby is safe" or would u think that it's ludicrous to think like this? buggerall my baby is scared for life matey! I'm going to sue the hell out of you. Well that was what my chat friend told me and it pisses me off. What is half empty and what is half filled? I tend to take it as a snub on my face. I reckon sensitivity is an issue, the least that a person can do is to keep quiet and not trying to say something that liken to a slap on the face and fuel the issue more.

As for the friggin 20 hours of sheer and utter waste, all my anticipation lost, the eagerness and the building of climax has indeed became anticlimax. I think I will forget about the 20 hours of mental torture and abuse and get on with my frigging life. So there!

Death of a workhorse

2006-03-19T10:29:00.000+08:00

For an off day, I managed to get tied up pretty good or bad whichever way you want to look it at, I wonder what the fuss was it with the inccesant jams that I got myself into. Being within the first year of mum's death, we were required to do "Cheng Ming", earlier than the custom required 10 days before and 10 days after the actual day.

My jalopy has been given me problems lately but on this particular day, it behaved rather erratically, I drove it to the graveyard and after the obligatory prayers and the likes, then, out of the blue, all problems started, it started shuddering, sputtering and the engine cuts off ever so often; cold sweats beading with the advancement of every minute, until I managed to get it to the workshop, truth be told, the grease and oil covered workshop never looked so divine before.

All is not that bad, looking at the brightside, the very least was that I managed to prod my "pranching horse" to the workshop. Have to constantly remind myself that I have squeezed whatever that is left in my good 'ole work horse. It's really time to move forward and get myself reacquainted with a newer more upmarket ride. Sometimes I have to learn when to let go, and not look at things in terms of dollars and cents. I will start hunting for a alternative starting now. My jalopy is still running by the way and it even ferried me and a "hot" date which I had every inclination to write about but was wondering if it's appropriate?

The day that was Friday

2006-03-17T20:01:00.000+08:00

It's 8.00pm and counting, barely 2 more hours for me to park my butt in my chair. Sometimes I wonder if I were to sit here any longer would my butt envelope the plastic swivel chair? I reckon that would be something worth writing about in blogs to come. On hindsight today has been a pretty chaotic day, not because of an overwhealming increase in the number of patients but simply because of the fact that I was so embroilled in looking at share websites as well as my counters.

The thing about shares is that it is never easy to master. I actually paid my hard earned money for what a friend coined, "tuition fees" to learn about stocks investment in Malaysia. Nothing is as it seems and it could go either way in a short duration of time. My eyes, blurry from monitoring the numbers in the screen, is currently hazing and tired. Oh yes I got rid of the rest of the share that I had been loosing money in, the damage or tuition fees in this case contributed, was 9,250 Rm. A respectable amount but nothing, I mean nothing compared to the friend of mine that had chalked up in his quest for a degree in "share education"!

Apart from shares I was also, for the pass few days engrossed in making manic posts in my favourite forum, I reckon the stress attributed to the hike of petrol and the ever increasing lending rates, many of the people active in the real estate forum had sort of "lost it". There had been loads of inappropriate but sarcastically funny posts which although sarcastic, actually lightens and makes me laugh when I read it. At least whilst typing furiously away in the forum, a sense of satisfaction can be realised. I know it's a bit funny but heck that's how I spent my time during the pass few days. Patients very extremely thin and the takings, unfortunately thinner.

On a much brighter note, I met someone lately, well not actually met, but have been chatting with the person for the pass few days. Although we have never met up and only been chatting for less than 5 days; I could sense some warmth in our conversation. I think I am a better communicator when it comes to typing and chatting online, verbally I rate myself second if not worse. She sounded like someone who in my opinion is worth getting to know better, perhaps meeting up would even change my present predicament. I think I would elaborate more later in my subsequent postings.

But being Friday, I am stuck as to not know what I am doing 2 hours err one and half hours from now? I have every inclination to go out and unwind, maybe have some drinks to ease the soul from the horrors that was the past week, but heck I reckon it would be funny if I were to embark on this escapade alone. I think it's shameful not having friends to go out with but then, who can blame them? I will have to buck up and start meeting up with people and I think the girl that I have been chatting with the past week will be a welcome change.

"A"s and it's relevence

2006-03-14T19:07:00.000+08:00

The state of education is such a scam nowadays, every students seems to be out scoring each other in terms of the numbers of 'A's that they can score. In the recently concluded SPM examinations the numbers of As are like a huge, more than those scoring Cs and passes, is this even normal? I wonder if having a string of As actually makes a difference in their future. All this are pretty ludicrous especially when more and more substandard graduates are jobless. It goes to speak volumes with the state of education in our country.

There were a 50% increase in the students that obtains As in either one or more subject! I remembered during my time as a student, scoring a distinction is like something to be really proud off, the number of top scorers from each state is perhaps a few, not as many as hundreds of them; During my time SPM; or "O" Levels a student can opt to sit for a maximum of 9 subjects and thus a limit of A's will be confined to 9. This year it has become a laughing stock, having students who scores 15 A1s! Who can manage 15 subjects? I reckon either I am outdated or the education system is NUTS! I reckon it's the latter.

But does securing 15As have any bearing in what they will become in time? Does it mean that those securing so many As are going to be successful in life? I reckon this puts up more questions than answers. I can bet with you that it doesn't matter. Why? I can tell u frankly I wasn't one of the top students whilst I was in secondary school. I had a more laid back attitute, bothering on the "tidak apa" side. For my SPM, I think I had only 5 As or something like that. Not to brag about anything, but heck if u ask me, I cannot remember anything that I've learn or studied for the stupid exam that was SPM. It doesn't prepare me for my university days and to the contrary I find our educational system flawed to say the very least. Perhaps instead of merely striving for grades don't you think it's time to exhort students to think for themselves? Take it from an average student, relax and enjoy yourselves in secondary school, the real deal begins in uni!

Creative constipation

2006-03-13T14:05:00.000+08:00

Well, as most would probably notice, I wasn't posting much lately, I reckon I'm down with a writers' block or my favourite phrase, creative constipation. I wonder what makes me ahem, constipated? I reckon coming back from an overseas trip made me want to write more, but perhaps the down turn in my investments as well as being so engrossed in the China serials actually take the "wind" out of my sails, so to speak.

Now I am back, reattempting to write but I am not sure where all this typing and clicking is going, which leads to the uncanny problem is what am I trying to lash out this time? Hmm, let me think, what about the inappropriately priced Honda Civic? Damn it's a good looking car but for 130 odd ks it's sure one heck of an expensive indulgence. What makes me extra pissed is that for the same amount of a kenari, we can obtain this in the good ole' US of A. That is on addition that they could probably pay off in less than a year, with their average income per capita. I couldn't imagine what are the basis of the pricing structure that we have now, I reckon arguments that has been put forward is neither appropriate nor holds and water.

The fact is on comparison, we are paying through our nostrils, our fuel are not cheap, lately an increase of 15 % plus, and we do have an insane network of tolls, and on top of that road taxes, all in all very detrimental to the average joes that needs to move around. And the funny thing is that the people are taking it and slogging just to be able to put food on the table. I should be political about this but seriously it has sort of used up my confidence in the ability of the new administration to pull things together. Coming to the car, the prices absurd. It goes to show that for the same amount that we paid for a lousy 2 bit made in Malaysia cars that are neither road worthy or comes equipe with safety gadgets like airbags, ebd and abs, it goes to show how concerned is our goverment regarding the well being of the population. With so many road deaths it's ludicrous to blame it solely on the indescretion of the local drivers, but infact the blame should be more in our govermental policies.

Now, I wonder with that short and incensed lashout at the automotive policy would I no longer be subjected to this creative constipation, heck more to that, I might be subjected to Kamunting for voicing my opinions, Damn I should keep quiet and keep whatever thoughts to myself. :P

I told you so

2006-03-08T16:24:00.000+08:00

Buggerall, these words have been ringing in my ears. As it is, I had been holding on to my shares and not wanting to discard it for a small lost but heck within 2 days my small loss have been translated into an even bigger lost. Am in the process of salvaging whatever value there is remaining in my portfolio of shares.

I know, I know, I had been wanting to rid myself of this investment but for the love of God, I didn't, the exact reasons is also lost to me. Maybe deep down I had an instinct that it would regain whatever lost in value that it had accumulated but heck after plunging in value by a hefty 69.6%, I reckon that's the last straw, I am cashing out with whatever cash value that it still had. All in a very poor investment choice.

Frankly I haven't been burnt much in the local share market but having it's value dip from a high of 56 cents which I bought to a low of 17 cents now, I think my capasity to absord it's depressed value has overshot it's boundaries. Fact is the owners of this company had screwed investors one too many times, and if I am not mistaken, it's value would plummet some more. Just hope that I can get out before it hits 2 cents! kekekekekeke.

All in my enthusiasm about getting a nice, watch has evaporated as soon as it has started, damn chialat!

March update

2006-03-07T11:46:00.000+08:00

This is the first post of mine in March, I haven't been in the right frame of mind to post anything prior to this, not because that I have a lot of worries or anything, certainly not because that I am too busy having loads of patients to see and most certainly not because I am making tons of money. I have been distracted by watching too many China made serials............ Period.

I had in these 2 weeks finished a 30 episode HK series loosely titled "The Hotelier", and also a 30 episode epic battle infused, historical drama set in the Ching Dynasty called "Kang Xi Di Guo". The Chinese language is artistic, filled with flair and also exudes a certain romantic aura. I am captivated with this lovely language and needless to say because of that,I am a bit disappointed that my command of this language is depressing at best. Now that is a different story all together. I think there are loads of Chinese around not able to speak Mandarin, my only comfort is that I can; albeit not that fluently.

Anyway the serials depict the life and death of the 2nd Ching emperor, Kang Xi and his reign, I sort of had a renewed interests in Chinese history after my trip to the Forbidden City. I think we as Chinese need to embrace our roots and learn more about the historical aspect of what make our fatherland what it is today. I think understanding what prompt my dad to make the voyage to NanYang as South East Asia was called those days, will keep my time occupied. I wonder how deep does my family tree goes to? Perhaps I might even be connected to one of the forefathers of Modern China, who knows, never late to learn more about our roots, right?

What the Heck!

2006-02-24T14:59:00.000+08:00

Well, business has been very slow probably because of the curfew imposed in the areas near my clinic, there are hardly any people walking around and I suspect the disturbances a few days back is still making the residents here afraid to venture out especially at night. That is totally different story all together, but I had because of being too free, managed to squeeze 20 episodes of a Hong Kong drama loosely titled "Lost" in as little as 2 days!!, Yup sometimes I surprise even myself. My immediate reaction post completing this serials is ................ God Damnit!!!!, how irritating it can get? Let me elaborate one particular scene towards the end of the serial.

You see, plots are basically more or less the same, hero in this case an old actor of yesteryears trying, I suspect to make a comeback, and in this particular story lost his child due to overcommitment in his work, and then on top of that lost his wife, blah blah blah. That is nothing new, a few sobbings later, fast forward 2 years after the disapperance, and then things starts unfolding, some plots and subplot etc which is very predictable. That is not the biggest problem, what bugs me the most is the love scenes. It happen that the heroine has a identical sister which is not known to her and her family!! but the hero claims that he loves her eternally and wants to spend the rest of his life with her but at the end cannot even differentiate which is which? This is bordering on insanity, ludicrous and totally inappropriate. How can a person that claims to be so in love not even able to differentiate a party that he loves? Is this even happening? Chialat!

I am sure there are some subtle differences that a normal human can detect, I know I can, certain mannerisms, certain ways of doing things and certain small nuances that makes us an individual. Not even identical twins can reproduce all this. What irks me the most and it still does is how can this even happen? I know for me, when I love someone I would be at least able to detect that person be it after being separated for decades or years. This is instinctive.

I wonder if I am in his shoes, what would I have done? Anyway it's just a serial I know but it never failed to evoke a response with me, I bet, the outcome might be way different.

Whither Materialistic?

2006-02-24T10:41:00.000+08:00

Another weekend and another day of rest tomorrow, I wonder if TGIF is actually such a good thing? Sure I will have some deserved rest, but it also means that I will have one less day to cover my overheads. I was chatting with a new found friend over the net and I was taken aback that he mentioned I sounded materialistic like everyone else from my few latter postings in my blog. I might be somewhat since being labelled a failure rather than a success. The fact is that Malaysians as a whole define success with material possessions and being one of them I have to comform to this defination for fear of being labelled "outcast". As in generally accepted terms, a person who doesn't comform is abnormal, and hence a psychotic.

From the perspective of some, I might as well be through and through a materialistic bugger. In effect I always think that expecting something is pretty reasonable in my situation. I am supposedly a professional, mid thirties, with an own practice and in the golden occupation bracket, but no, I am neither here nor there. I am not earning much, barely making 3 thousand a month, and without a pad of my own, and nope, I also don't have any counterpart to share my supposedly luxurious lifestyle with. Is asking for a better life materialistic? I don't think it's not unreasonable to expect something from myself, being educated and a professional(?).

I actually have dreams to serve the people, I even had the inclination to actually join a non profit organisation which is transparent, not like those that I had come across, and definately nothing like the NKFs in Singapore and some of the supposedly NGOs in Malaysia. I am more interested to join some organisation like MSF, which I had admired for sometime. The problem is that I haven't even provide enough for my loved ones to even put this in perspective. I always believe in the old Chinese saying, "To help others one must help ourselves first", so am I materialistic in this sense? You bet I am.

WWW

2006-02-22T14:47:00.000+08:00

Well, it is supposed to be the world wide web, but in my own personal experience it should be rephrase to World Weirdos Web. I have so many spammers in my yahoo mailbox that it actually makes this form of communication "painful". I also had unsolicited emails for penile enlargement, invites of sexual romps, lottery winnings, illegal money laundering, and whatever makes people tick. It is totally exhausting, so a request to chat comes as a very pleasant surprise. But well surprise it was but pleasant?

I was actually contemplating initially whether to add the person into my lists of contacts and suffice to say curiosity took the upper hand, and I added. I reckon I should be more stringent in adding people to chat with and I have learn my lesson. It is never clear what a nickname actually means. It maybe be some nice nickname with some hidden agenda. It started off innocently enough and a few seconds into the chat, it happen. I am a kid now, and an angry kid, kekekekeke, sounds funny eh? I, a kid, well maybe the other party is a kid but who knows, with nickname like that it's very difficult to gauge. So in a span of a few mins, I was a kid, a dog a what not and it is suffice to say that it wasn't anything pleasant to hear. I wonder what is the driving force behind people like that.

Bunnywunny did mention that I sounds pretty hardcore and hotheaded while chatting with her, in a nutshell I might be very direct when I am trying to communicate especially when I am stressing a point. I think this is what I was trained to do, no emotions, not sidetracking, no shifty innuendos. I prefer to be straight and to the point. I don't tolerate inappropriateness when it comes to things like this. Unsolicitated emails will be going straight to the dump. Maybe I sound pretty regimented but I think in this place and time it is utmost important. Who knows what lurks behind the veil of anonymity?

By the way, I met with with bunnywunny and we had a nice chat, no verbal diatribe and physical exchange.....................................yet. :P Now for the antispam filter, perhaps I have to start setting up firewalls?

The measure of success

2006-02-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

I happen to read some people's blog and how they measure success. If their standards are anything to go by, I have to probably hang myself. There are many ways to gauge a person's success but sad to say I am not passing by their standards. I am neither a head of department, neither a dude that zips around in a beemer. I reckon many would associate being successful with material possesions. I think in this department I failed miserably.

What am I driving? I am zipping, nay crawling around in a 1998, Proton Wira Aeroback 1.3. Nothing fancy, not that I could afford anything other than this set of wheels way back in 1998. This is my first car and darn I was proud of how I could stretch a monthly income of a paltry Rm 1713 excluding tax that I earn a month whilst in the goverment service. Yup, I have been moving around in this for 8 years already and sad to say this workhorse is finally coming to the end of it's natural life. The aircond is not working, the engines shuts down once a while, but I console myself by constantly reminding myself that at least I have something to move around in, at least I don't have to pay a monthly installment to zip around in a spanking new beemer. What didn't I buy one beemer anyway? I don't know the exact reason, I like cars, as in any hormone infueled males, but heck I also know how to punch in the calculator and figure out that owning a set of kick ass wheels in Malaysia is something that is ludicrous, bordering on insanity. Why should I pay so much when it is worth probably 1/3 of it's price? If you ask me, I reckon it's daylight robbery, nothing more nothing less.

So I am a looser I suppose. But darn, I couldn't care less, If I have money I would invest in something else, and if I have tons of money I would be even more careful to avoid letting people know for the fear of being robbed or relatives and friends asking me for loans. Fact is, I am a person that likes to lie low, and doesn't like being in the limelight. Only people that wants to show offs drives around in million dollar cars and stay in wooden houses. For me, I suppose staying in a nicer place beats zipping around in an car, or having a nice kick ass watch like the Glashutte Original Senator watch, or maybe a Lange 1 would be a much better investment.

Meanwhile I wonder how long will my jalopy will continue to service my needs? Perhaps I have to start hunting for another car, err maybe a beemer this time, but most definately a used model?:)

Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T18:29:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's day, ya, am wondering what is there to be happy about? I know some are having a lovey dovey time hugging, kissing and making things as fairy tale as it can be, problem is why the heck wait until the Febuary the 14 th to express your love and affection to the one you love, for me anytime is a good time, not Chap Goh Mei, certainly not any Victorian Febuary the 14th. So for the people that only wants to say " I love you" on this particular day, my response to you is SOD OFF! You stingy bugger, go and give you love to your loved ones everyday rather than choosing only today.

Yah, I hate Valentines Day. I am retreating into my shell and gloat now thank you very much. But for those who really have someone to share this day with, someone to love and someone to express your amourous feeling for, I hope you will have a great time, for someone like me, I will be cooped up at work, with only a 12inch notebook screen to keep me occupied. So off you all go and enjoy yourselfs. Bluerk!

Chap Goh Mei

2006-02-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

Yup, today is the last day of CNY, which is the 15th day of the lunar calendar, also the last day of festivities. It has been really already half a month since the first day of CNY and to say the least, it has passed like the wind. Time really flies.

Being the last day of CNY, it's also known as the Chinese equivalent of St Valentine's day, Yup we Chinese are a resourceful race, we have everything in Chinese. It's ironic that today is 12th of Febuary and 2 days before the world accepted Valentines. Tradition has it that pretty maidens of yesteryears will be on the lookout for eligible bachelors and it is said that by throwing mandarin oranges, the potential suitors will be in sight. It's more customary than religious and I bet there will be some people actually exploiting this thing. I remembered some companies organising a Chap Goh Mei and selling a package consisting of mandarins+waterproof markers, and candlesticks and red cloths. Needless to say all this comes in a package of 20bucks a pop, both genders would be buying and throwing the males if I remembered correctly will be throwing bananas as compared to the females. Phone numbers are exhanged in the process, as the people both males and females will fish out each other's "fruits" from the lakes. I bet it would be a hilarious occasion, but I suspect the people what grin the most would be the organisers. Wonder if it's on this year as well?

I couldn't imagine that there are so many singles around, articles in the local dailies always harp on the issue that the less number of singles are settling down, perhaps due to the paper chase as well as career advancement. It's but a matter of preference but I reckon at times it does felt kinda lonely especially when u need someone to bitch about. More and more professionals like me are single and I reckon that isn't a bad thing. Basically many organisation will exploit this and comes with packages to introduce people, one of them is even offer packages for dinner or lunch, I wonder if it actually works? packages ranges from 1k odd for a few introduction and I think the party that benefit the most would be the matchmaking agency, I think this is not a bad business to go into eh?

Anyway my resolution for Chap Goh Mei is this, there is no resolution. About concerns from family and friends that is worried about my status, I want to tell them don't worry, I am not bothered anymore. My perspectives have changed dramatically recently and I am happy with my status. Ask if u must and assume if u have to, but I am what I am and I will never bow to pressure to settle down for the sake of being one of the "normal" ones. So be it. That is not to say that I will push away any that comes my way, I won't be actively looking, if it comes it comes, if it doesn't I am not going to loose sleep over it.

What a Day

2006-02-10T16:08:00.000+08:00

I think I might really believe that this year is going to a bad year if the first few days of the Dog year is a prelude of what is to come. As in my previous posts, this particular investments is still haemorrhaging, this time it has lost half of it's value. This is definately something to be concerned about and I am really contemplating whether to cut my losses and cash out whatever is left? I am still in deep thoughts. Apart from the bad news in the share market, I also had in these pass few days some really obnoxious and inappropriate females that pinged me to chat, in the ICQ.

I wonder why is there so many people like these around? making and poking fun of other people's misfortune just for self satisfaction. I mean if I am not mistaken, gratification obtained in expense of people's miseries are terms Sadism right? I am as curious as I cannot understand what makes these people tick. It's really pitiable that humans can stoop down so low to the extend of poking fun at vulnerable people, it's like kicking a person after the person had fall down. I am chilling and I am not angry, just sad, sad that people generally lack empathy and compassion.

I might have made enemies lately. I don't actually give a damn what other people think about me. I will never minch my words when I know someone is making use of me, poking fun at me and I will see to it that they know. No names but really it's irritating, at least I think it is. Some might not agree. I find it tiresome to explain and reexplain what I feel. It's difficult that people see me with "coloured" lenses prefering to have a preconception about how I do, how I manage my clinic and how I manage my investment portfolio. I have been labelled "rude" and what not, the state that I had made earlier being what that has stucked in my mind. I reckon being straightforward is something that is a bad thing. My statements can be misconstrued into mocking a person, making fun and what not. I reckon what I know, I will keep it to my self, what I feel I would keep it to myself, what I think I would keep it to myself and what I sense I would also keep to myself. Best thing is to not volunteer any information, not volunteer any advice, not teach, not even say what you think is best. Yup bitterness is part of the human legacy. I am bitter, thoroughly.

I might sound unhappy, in essence I am not unhappy, I am neither happy, just probably I am numb. I reckon I will be numb even when whatever I have is gone. Nothing actually makes me unhappy as I guess the China trip made me realise something. This cannot be explained and I am more patient, and I also don't want to argue with person when a person is so fixated on an idea, some might argue I have a fixated idea as well. I reckon I have, but the bottomline is that I am tired. very tired.

Anyway I am contemplating whether to continue writing anything in the blog. I have been thinking of deleting it, and it has been on my mind for a very long time. Some of the blogs that I used to read has also been removed. This is by no means destructive, I think I have acheived what I set out to do when I started this blog, I have moved on from my problems and now it's hopefully on to better things. I also had started deleting my contacts on my msn yahoo messenger, even in ICQs. I guess the next thing to do is to delete my profiles in Match.com, ahmoi and friendster. Heck even my handphones are being updated, deleting contacts numbers that I never call or receive any calls from. Sounds like I am retreating into a shell? I think I am not. I am just washing myself clean.

Dark Wednesday

2006-02-08T13:36:00.000+08:00

I never understand why Wednesday is a dark day, at least for me, today I reckon whatever doubts that I have had about Wednesday is once again affirmed. As in any other day, It started off normally, I had to be buggered out of bed earlier as this happens to be the day that our mourning period is due, hence we are officially out of mourning. Tradition says that we have to at mourn a certain period and for my mum we opted for a 100days period. It is 100 days since mum passed away. Ironically this is also the same day for my dad's death anniversary.

Funny thing is that we cannot pray at the same time and hence I have to rush back from my clinic, and thus being caught in a horrendous jam. It was so bad that I have to take an hour to reach home for a normal 5 minutes drive. Wonder what is happening? It's bothering on chaos, traffic lights are not functioning, I reckon even the drivers are not functioning. Maybe I was irritable and I tend to notice things a bit more when I am in this present state of mind.

Coupled with the fact that it has been an extremely quiet day at work, not a single patient, and also when there happens to be one, who wanted to do an xray of his arm. I did the neccesary things and proceeded to develop the film, all things have been done to a "T" but guess what, there is no water! the xray film failed to develop and due to this I have to redo everything! I had to explain to the patient and then ask him to collect it some other time! Can u totally beat that, I pay 30 bucks a month, with no water connected, SYABAS ? Guess the water utility company shouldn't be named Syabas, in retrospect they should be appropriately named TBA (Tiada Bekalan Air). I think I use less than 5 bucks of water a month, utilities in Malaysia is bordering on rediculousness. I have given up on everything Malaysian. Period.

More to more heart pissing things, shares plummet and the shares I bought yesterday redlined by 25%! Really bad news, all in all I reckon I raked in a substantial loss today. And there is still more to come. I have been also hypersensitive to certain passing comments that some people I chat with make. I was saying that there is no water and darn, my film is wasted, and guess what? The fella commented that I am complaining alot? what the heck? She also advised me to kill myself? What is this? I reckon I will totally shut out this character and not chat anymore. I am not in the best of moods and the least this bugger can do is to shut up! I wonder if this bad string is going to continue throughout the rest of the day? I am so tired.

I think I have to strengthen up my optimism that I brought back from Beijing, I think writing about it and my many heart lightening experience makes me feel happier. It's a thought to totally refocus my attention. Wonder why when bad things happen it comes in spurts? Maybe I should seek some devine intervention? News has it that my horoscope is supposedly bad in the year of the dog, what else in new? It has been bad everysince I can remember, why stop now? Brrrr, better think about Beijing!

Friendship sites II

2006-02-07T10:41:00.000+08:00

I was buggered by these sites, perhaps mainly due to the fact that I have been looking at it for the pass few days. I mentioned about men and their "ingenious"~ Yawn!, ways to entice and attract women in those sites, I think most have a standard opening lines, but come to think of it, isn't it a very pathetic way to get to know people? Case in point, if a profile is devoid of pictures, it automatically goes into the "discarded" bin. I don't know about other people, but for me, I never even bother to click on a person's profile as the database is HUGE!, so, no pictures, no click, sounds a little like Shallow Hal, I know, but who isn't? Try being truthful and u'll find ur answers there.

Commenting on the men's profiles, I noticed the desperation in their opening lines, I meant, at mid thirties, if there is no other half, so what? There are loads more things to keep ourselves occupied and yes I do agree that it feels lonely at times, but at least there are no one to bug you when you want some time being alone, it will feel exceptionally bad during festivities with the inccesant houndings by relatives and family members but over the years I have learnt to deal with it.

Refocussing the spotlight towards profiles created by females, and this is coming from someone who has tons of time in my hands, yup sounds pretty pathetic, I know but what the heck, I am alone sitting and it's the only thing that keeps me occupied, that and this blooming blog of mine. Females usually start with, I am a simple girl, gosh, simple? sure? What is a simple girl anyway? by that do she mean that she has a simple mind? simple outlook? simple expectations? Simple, simple ......, simple? I haven't noticed anything creative at all:-

Simple girl looking for friendship, to increase my circle of friends

Simple girl wants to get to know u, guys

Simple and available

Simple and pretty girl , yak yak yak

I reckon creativity is dead among us, males and females included, problem is I am also brain dead in the creative department as well. I haven't had any bright ideas as to how to entice the fairer sex to click on my profile and yup, I didn't even upload a picture to get them remotely interested. I too am in the same boat, if there is no photo in the profile I would automatically not even click on their profile, Shallow Hal is alive and well amongst us! Hmm, perhaps I should give all a general idea how I word my profiles and perhaps in the process can elicit some chuckles? :)

In Ahmoi.com
( When I read it through, I started laughing, all in all a poor attempt-fail miserably)

Hmm, about myself,.. am wondering how to actually squeeze thirty years of life in this limited space made available to us. In a nutshell I am an average chap with an average work, your usual average joe with the exception that I am an eccentric and despite my stern outlook and character, I can be really sensitive at times. I was brought up in a traditional chinese family with old tradition inculcated into my character, but I am not a male chauvinist. I am looking to expand my circle of friends and to get to know ppl from different walks of life, as mixing around seems to be impossible owing to the nature of my work! I enjoy having some intelligent and intellectual talks and correspondence. I look forward to corresponding with like minded individuals. Cheerio~!

In Match.com
( what a poor opening introduction, made me sound so "desperate" - Fail )

Being "married" to my job, and haven't much time to increase the circle of friends. Hobbies varies, ranging to the brawy outdoor activities to the more cerebral ones like reading and classical music

looking for:-
female, homely and intellectually stimulating, able to share and communicate effectively as well as able to tolerate the occasional setbacks in a relationship

In Friendster
( really average attempt, no doubt, kekekeke)

It's difficult to describe myself without sounding too narcissistic, I would think that I am ur average jock, with an average occupation, with an average lifestyle. Appearance wise is even more average, not ur macho, handsome celebrity type of looks.

In Hi5
( the lowdown in my life - totally yucky)

I am a burn out early thirties professional who is currently working at a dead end job with not respite in sight. Currently looking to increase my pathetic number of friends and to inject some life and vigor into my dead social life

All in all I'd reckon my attempt to get to know more people proved to be futile. Not that I am complaining. I never intend to find the "one", just that the time that I spend in front of my notebook is too long so for the hang of it, I just join for the love of god! kekekekeke. :P

I wonder should I delete all my profiles? I reckon it would be good for a couple of laughs every now and then! kekekekekeke :D, and now to better things, looking forward again to the weekend with my sixpack! YAY!

Friendship sites

2006-02-06T20:33:00.000+08:00

Well, I need to confess, I have been very free lately, browsing and looking through most of the friendship sites that I can lay my "fingers" on. You name it, I've seen or been in it. The more popular ones that we, as single Malaysians frequent are the Ahmoi.com sites, the Match.com sites, Friendster, Hi5, AsiaFriendFinder, etc etc and something strikes me, there are too many singles around and the fact is, sites like this exploit the gullibility of single people. Well that's a different thing all together.

I always wonder why I am still single, at 36, still working ala a dog with no respite in sight, I always ask myself, if I am single by choice, or timing? I reckon for me, it would be 50/50. Well at least I would want me, myself to believe! I can find an avalanche of excuses why I am still single, but this is not what I want to say at this juncture, I want to highlight the ways that these so called "advertisers" are looking for friends and hopefully, a match and how they attract the opposite sex? I observed that most of the chaps my age have a few salient points that they used t0 advertise themselves:-

1) they are financially sound and secure, heck if at our age, if we are still living with parents, then something is very wrong, like in my instance!:)

2) understanding, well everyone is supposedly understanding when it doesn't concern them, a trademark of malaysians actually, case in point; " I am veli understanding one, I always slow down when there is an accident to see but I never stop to help" Yup very understanding indeed.
3) Sincere person, well everyone is sincere, depending on how much.?

4) Owns a own pad- who doesn't? At this age, if dun have their own pad, hotels can be so friggin expensive! :P

5) caring person- Yeah right, wish I could care! sigh*

The fact is there is so many people listing in those sites and as much as I want to tell you otherwise, I am also one of the suckers, although I have to add that I haven't receive any response before, who said doctors are not gullible when it comes to things like this? :)

CNY and the days after

2006-02-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

Just with a snap of my fingers, Chinese New Year has come and gone. As Hokkiens, the new year would be officially over on the ninth day of the lunar calender, that was yesterday.

I couldn't stop wondering that time really flies. It has been an uneventful occasion this CNY and I really felt that it was rather quiet, gone were the celebrations of yesteryears, the inccesant banging of firecrackers and the festivities atmostpheres with the drums and clanging of the lion dance troupes. This year, I noticed a dearth of any lion troupes, maybe it's me but it really felt "quiet".

What did I do during CNY? well I was off on the eve of it, being one of my usual off days, and I took 3 days off from work. This year was bad in the sense that we didn't have a reunion dinner. I reckon the family sort of strayed after my mum died and since there is no more figureheads at home, none of my siblings came back. They had their own family and hence their own reunion dinner. This one of the bleakest day that I could think of but heck it is a precedent of more CNYs to come. It was so boring that I went for a movie. I reckon at least the movie was the highlight of my new year, Jet Li in "Fearless" at least brighten my otherwise mediocre new year. Since the fourth day of CNY is supposedly very auspicious and advocated by some grandmaster, I decided to commence my practice then. It was pretty quiet when I open for business and the rest of the establishment are closed for business. That's a different thing altogether. The actual day of CNY was spend at home, doing nothing as we could not celebrate as we were still in mourning. No red and flashy clothes, no prayers to the "God of Heaven", nothing. I didn't even visit any friends during these period. As per usual, the television programes are pretty similar to the past new year and most are shot in location in China. beautiful scenery only to be "defaced" by rubber faced singers and entertainers. I reckon if their faces cramped up after filming? Too much smiling I suppose?

As per any CNY, we ended up going to my friends office and some Mahjong sessions. I reckon every year is more or less the same, as it is, every year I would budget some monies to loose to them. I am no gambler and I think I pretty much "suck" in manipulating mahjong cards or tiles. Ah well, once a year, is fine. I find arranging and playing it very stressful and tiring. I am glad I am no fans of the game of chance. Phew! I would prefer to have a cuppa of coffee or even a can of cold beer!

The second and third day is pretty similar to the first day, mahjong and more mahjong, I was practically dreaming of the mahjong tiles when I was sleeping, one thing that was positive was that I had managed to squeeze some jogging into the frenzy of mahjoing. Jogging is so much more rejuvenating than mahjong, wonder why people are so addicted to this game?

The day before CNY

2006-01-27T16:13:00.000+08:00

Yup today is the 27th of January, on the 29th will be the first of the lunar calender, which is the actual day of Chinese New Year. It will also the the first year that I will be without a parent. Ah well, life goes on and it does kinda suck I reckon. Apart from the depressing factor of being an "orphan" of sorts, I was hoping for a better year ahead, and hopefully my latter posts would be in a more positive vein rather than the older more ranting of yestermonths'.

As I look back, I have been back from my China trip barely 3 weeks before and I am still reeling from a positive "chi". I had closed my practice for 8 days for my holidays in China and currently would be closing for another 4 days, all in all January have been a pretty leisure and relaxing month. I would hope that come Febuary and henceforth, it would be a more hectic time for me, least it would build up my financial reserves more.

I have encountered numerous patients these past few days, and sometimes it's funny that certain people doesn't want to spend money even at the expense of their own health. I mean, does prescribing 4 medications, 2 of them originals and charging them a sum of 32 ringgit exorbitant? I reckon people like these doesn't actually know the prices of rice eventhough they are eating it as a staple diet. Fact is I am finding it increasingly difficult to stay off the red and maintaining my previous charges of 30 ringgit as medicine prices has soared, some pharmaceutical companies increased their products by 10 to 15%. I wonder if I should absorb the costs of medications but then again, since rental is also increaseing by 15%, I find it difficult to even keep afloat let alone make a profit. Coupled with higher overheads and having to finance the xray and ultrasound machine, the increment of my staff's salary, heck I would be happy if I can just drop everything and sell it off! Really times are as bad as it can be.

Apart from that, I had also been brandished a critical person. I have my way of talking and writing which is basically my own "style", making me, ME and being critical is perhaps not one of them. I maybe be too straightforward, a character that is closely related to my chinese horoscope and I don't like being subjected to cross examinations. I am totally aghast when people jump into conclusions and then label me inappropriately but heck, what should I even care. I am a nobody.

Well, I am lucky in a way, I am still reeling from positivity after my trip and yes, things like this should not affect me and in a way it isn't. I am perhaps irritated when people start wearing "coloured" glasses and subject me under scrutiny. I am an individual who despite my whims and shortcomings are as sincere as I can get. If they cannot appreciate the fact that I am an individual, then move on. I don't need constant telling off. I will be what I am and I am proud of it, YAY!

First Night in Beijing

2006-01-26T20:08:00.000+08:00

I wanted to say that we went partying after the initial first night, but heck, after the Forbidden Palace, we went for a impromptu lunch, which was nothing to shout about and then back to another place called "Wang Fu Chin" a Petaling Street lookalike which is famous for their barbeque on sticks pretty similar to our own satay, and the barbeque can be from a simple beef to more exotic seahorses, or even bugs, yeah huge bugs including silk worms and also some humongous cochroach and grasshoppers, lets just leave it by saying that "they" are crunchy!:P

There are also lots of imitation antiques as well as collectibles there and we spend our time browsing at all the numerous items on sale. The trick here is to counteroffer to a rediculously low price and then work up from there. There are not used to the bargaining power of a KLite and yeah good deals are all around, but at the speed of which they agree and deal on the price that I counter offered, I suspect, I must be the sucker here, but heck, I am on holiday and prices are no issue, IF I really like it right? My friend bought a humongous "Three Country/ Warring States" period knife and it was so cool! The problem would be to bring it back to KL, it's an experience by itself, haggling over prices while in the same time freezing my ass off, the jitterry words and the constant shivering makes it a worthwhile experience. On yes did I mention "stinky toufu", well stink is an understatement! The stinkier it is, the more delicious it is! GO FIGURE!

I also had my first taste of "Frozen Sugary Peach" or something likethat, it's call "Ping Tang Hu Lao" and it merely tiny apples or some fruit coated in liquified sugar, it was ahem a different experience and suffice to say I am no fans of it! :). By 5 PM the sky is already turning dark and there are more and more people around shopping and hurrying back, this was also the time that we got into the car and depart for our hotel.

We rested for sometime, to bathe and also to refreshen up before going for dinner, we had some local Beijing food and some really strong chinese alcohol, which is 56% proof! I can virtually feel the movement of the drink as it snakes its way down my oesophagus and into my stomach! But heck it's divine especially in the cold winter time! Ah the liquor the food, it almost brings a tears to my eyes! I also had my first Peking Duck, simply beautiful, done the traditional way, with dough wrappings filled with shallots, anions, and vegetables. It's simply beautiful that the crispy duck skin done to perfection and melts away in your mouth! Yummy!!! We had a big feast, with "Mah Lat (spicy Sichuan styled) fish", vegetables, meat, a few other types of beef, pork, chicken, beijing duck, 3 other types of vegetables and it costs nothing more than 150 ringgit! with beers and super strong chinese liquor! A feast to be remembered, not to mentioned FULL!

As it was our first day in Beijing and having travelled so much, we decided to return to the hotel for a good night's sleep in preparation for tomorrow!

Mood and Blog entry

2006-01-25T21:11:00.000+08:00

I haven't been updating my blog lately, choosing to let day by day slip by without any updates. My Beijing trip traveloque has yet to be even through to it's second day and I still haven't had the time to even gross WINN out with the elaboration of the "exotic" stuffs that I verbally stuff my mouth with!

I wonder why I haven't the enthusiasm and mood to write, I think maybe it's because that I am tired, having to juggle my time in monitoring my investments as well as the daily running of my practice. I have been having a few more patients than I usually get nowadays and I suspect is that many patients are either over eating or taking medications first in event as a prevention so that they can enjoy the feast during CNY! Hmm, typical Chinese mentality eh?

I am feeling a burst of mental energy after my trip to China, and now my travel bug is up in arms and next month after CNY I will be travelling yet again, but this time to Bali, the lush tropical island in Indonesia. Other trips are already on the drawing boards and I am wondering if I am overdoing it? But what the heck, I only live once, I'd reckon and I should be able to enjoy myself once a while.

Meanwhile my xray machine is finally ready, everything now hinges on the people in the Health Ministry signing off my last miserable licence, which is the licence to use a radiation device! I reckon they have been super efficient in delaying and postponing it until yours truly is truly fed-up. Perhaps what they want is some tea money, ya will probably ask them to wait a while longer and take a bloody hike!! I have one whole year now to wait for the licence since my quota last year has gone to the dogs! All 40 thousand ringgit worth!

Now to better things in life, another year is finally here, but heck, again my horoscope is bad? I wonder if every year is supposedly bad for me? So chialat! Luckily I don't believe in things like this, so couldn't care less! I have an inkling that the year of my namesake would bring good fortune and good things to this doc, cheers~!

Emotional recuperation

2006-01-23T16:37:00.000+08:00

My China trip has actually achieve 2 objective in my life, the physical aspect of it is what I have been writing about, a trip that enrich my life's experience, but I am interested in writing about the psychological aspect of alleviating my woes, today. I reckon it was a matter of mental stress that makes me increasingly tired and having lack of enthusiasm for anything. The break that I had 2 weeks ago had done wonders in recharging my senses.

If anyone has been reading my blog, they will invariably know that I had been carrying a lot of psychological baggage in my mind, I have been affected tremendously with the way my life was heading, with advancing age and all, makes me feel rather hopeless and also mentally tired. Coupled with some rather bad experience on the emotional front, it was really draining on my mental wellbeing.

I can safely say that I am free, especially in my attachment to my ex. I am very thankful that this trip has someone yank me to realise that I did what I had to do the last time and in a nutshell, it was a wise decision for splitting. Nothing will materialise even if I continue to pursue this relationship, I had instinctively know this for sometime and finding it's intellectual component sort of relieved the pent up frustrations.

I am definately feeling much happier now, and I could almost sense the "bounce" in my steps. To people unknown to me, they might had detected the change in my mood, and I also tend to smile more that I would. Maybe those people might think that I'm on some medications! hehe, Perhaps drugs? I reckon I had suffered enough for a failed relationship and I had finally dare say that I have and truly had moved on. YAY!

Beijing day 1-Forbidden city

2006-01-19T17:37:00.000+08:00

As we made our way to the fortified red wall with a stern looking, listless Chairman Mao in a larger than life potrait, I couldn't help but smile and felt a sense of euphoria about what lays beneath the red walls, the Forbidden City! The city where men apart from being the Emperor, or high ranking officials either doesn't get admitted or had to be "minus" an important anatomy, now here I am walking leisurely into the "city" without having to part with some family jewels. kekekeke. What a wonderful world! I wonder how it feels like? Most definately painful, OUCH!!

Coming back to the city, it was humongous, and there were forts within forts and doors and buldings and words cannot describe it apart from a singular vocabulary, au magnifique! Everything about it is larger than life, from the chairman's potrait to the rediculously oversized door that even Andre the Giant would be pleased, everything comes to be as being larger than life! Perhaps that was the initial purpose of building this palace, which is to awe the public, looks like it is doing an exceptional job in "aweing" me.

The entry fee was 40 yuan and as commercial as China is lately, everything is priced, from taking pictures in Imperial Robes to locals touting to be tourist guides. I reckon capitalisme is alive and well in China! As I pass through the main gates into the inner courtyard, numerous flashbacks of the scene comes into my mind, courtesy of the TVB and it's never ending stream of Chinese serials, also this courtyard was where Bertolucci's The last Emperor is filmed. I cannot imagine that in it's yesteryear glory, the whole place is filled with mandarins, courtiers and eunuchs! It must be such a spectacle then.

The picture above is one of the many "reception" areas that the Emperor meets his ministers. I remember counting a total of 3 major ones and one after another bigger and more impressive. There are ornate carvings and antiques placed all over the places with strict adherence to the principle of Feng Shui, the art of geomancy and tranquility. Everything placed has a specific role and meaning. The whole city is so huge that one day is simply not enough to explore all the treasures that is hidden within it. The cold and inpersonal wall has stood the test of time, having many stories to tell.

Day 1 in Beijing

2006-01-17T18:36:00.000+08:00

My first day in Beijing is made more memorable by the fact that I had made my first blunder. As I wanted to sit in the front passenger seat, I invariably opened the front door, and being used to having the passenger seat on the left side, I was dismayed to find the steering wheel! I had completely forgotten that the system employed in China varies from that found in Commonwealth countries. Well, I had the same experience the first time I visited China and it looks like a repeat performance.

As our car scream along the freeway bound for the city centre, I couldn't help but noticed the number of cars as they inch along into the Airport terminal. Beijing International is indeed a very busy place. The area is still shrouded in darkness with some light begining to creep up over the distant horizon. We reached our Hotel after an hour or more, I am still unable to get used to the fact that the traffic system is completely different from ours, there seems to be a lot of pedestrians, cyclists and cars on the roads, and for me this is completely chaotic, but it would seem for people here all this are systematic, and it is dumbfounding. Perhaps in this chaos there is some organised and systematic way of going about things?

Being hungry the first that that we on our minds was to have some breakfast. We went to a small shop next to the hotel and we had "Small dragon buns" and as it's name suggested it's small steamed buns and it was nice and filling, with meat and veges wrapped in dumplings or "pau" and retailing for 50 "jiao" or 25 cents each, it's very cheap and nice. We also had some porridge which was completely different from what we have here in Malaysia as well as soya bean curd which can either be sweet or spicy, back here we only had the sweet variant.

After the neccesary refreshing up, we went to the "Summer Palace". The area is capped with snow and the lakes and river are covered with ice. Merely thinking about it brings a chill in my body. It was indeed cold and as we speak, steam starts bellowing from our mouth. I had wanted to visit the compound but as it was undergoing renovation I reckon there isn't a point going in. Ah! the snow covered roofs are indeed very romantic and magnificient. No words could describe it. We adjourned to the "Tian An Men" Square and it was a fair distance away. We reached the square at around 10am and there were a lot of people hanging around already. I look around in awe as the square is magnificent, with scattered snow flakes with buldings surrounding it. It had the a magical effect on making the place even more enticing and appealing. We took some photos and proceeded to order a few cups of coffee. I reckon this is one of the few times that boiling coffee is drank in a single gulp, without even feeling the scalding effect. It was indeed very cold! As we walked, I could noticed that there are a lot of foreigners around this place, all walking towards the huge wall of the "Forbidden City". The potrait of Chairman Mao, overlooking the huge Tian An Men Square.

The Beijing Airport

2006-01-16T15:06:00.000+08:00

The minute hand of my watch struck 6.10am as the plane touches down in Beijing International. I had been in the MAS flight embarking from KLIA 30th December and now after 6 hours flight it's the eve of the new year, and a begining of a new fine day. My immediate reaction when I reach was; Yay, I am finally here, the land of my forefathers, the land of the Middle Kingdom and I had after painful deliberation, finally decided to come.

Disembarking from the Malaysia Airlines I made my way to the immigration channel, it was smooth sailing without any untoward incidence, the female officer looked as my passport and flipped to it rigorously as if hunting for some chinese characters and eyeing the officer with my most sincere and innocent look, it struck me that eventhough we are of the same race, the people here and the chinese in Malaysia look considerably different. That would be discussed more in my later posts, what I am interested in writing now is about my trip and I would, ahem, stick to my plans of doing so.

As I advance to the arrival hall I could sense the temperature dipping. The chilly Beijing air suddenly enveloped me and it hit me hard, err cold! I need extra protection, I need my winter jacket! My! cold is an understatement, I reckon the warm ambience in the airport gave me a surreal feeling about comfort as I leave it's warm embrace, I am shivering now! I have shaking like a cheap 2 buck vibrator. I saw loads of people covered in thick jackets, and it was by itself something of an eye opener for me.

We met the chap that was supposed to pick us up and we left the confines of the airport and into the centre of Beijing. I couldn't stop but noticed the motherlode of cars that is queueing to get into the airport, to my untrained eye, it would seem that it stretched for as much as a kilometre, maybe more, this too at 6.50am in the morning, KLIA is so "empty" as compared to this terminal.

I'm back

2006-01-11T18:36:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm back from my eye opening experience in China, my immediate reaction when I touch KLIA is that! YAY I'm back, I ain't not going to be freezing my b*lls off! It was a wonderful experience I had in Beijing and Shenyang, I totally have a different perspective in life and I am not ashamed to say that my previous woes regarding my status quo in relationships and business has been at least allayed and am feeling totally energised and recharged! Well mentally recharged does not neccesarily mean physically recharging! It was ahem, really tiring but well worth the effort. I reckon for me emotional wellbeing trumps physical comfort by a furlong!

I am still reeling from fatique and have yet to accomodate my inner "clock". When I was in Beijing, we had late nights, travelling to and fro from destinations and what I can bravely say is we, in Malaysia is so insignificant and minuscle as compared to China. Beijing by itself is more than a few times bigger than us, we have our single ring road, Beijing by itself have 6!! Imagine the humongous size of city! It seems barely 20 years ago, they were only constructing their first ring road, but it seems during the last 20 years, Beijing-ers have been very busy!

Anyway all those would be in my next postings, where I would detail my escapades in China. I travelled a lot over the last week and I'd reckon it was well worth it for the sheer reason of lifting my predicament from my ex. I feel a renewed energy to work as well as to move on with my life, life is at least injected with colours and sounds. Updates later with hopefully some pictures to "spice"up the blog!

Looking Back

2005-12-30T10:59:00.000+08:00

Today is the 30th of December and as 2005 slowly inches away into oblivion and the new millinium turns 6, it would be interesting to reflect on what has actually transpired over the eventful 2005. During the long and ardous journey that is 2005, many things had happen, some good and some bad, but funny that the bad ones is usually more prominent. As they all said, bad things usually retain longer than good ones, and in this aspect I agree totally. It would be best to put it in chronological order, ala the newspapers by describing it on a monthly basis.

January
As I recalled, nothing much, I have been busy with the day to day running of my clinic, had a couple of brushes with my ex, nothing significant, but had some inclination that things aren't working out like what I anticipated, Busy spending money then having to buy loads of things for the coming Chinese New Year, keeping everything in check and balancing my accounts. As it is, January is right after the year end holidays and people are hard pressed for cash, and because of this business have been pretty slow.

Febuary
The month of Chinese New Year and also one of the most memorable month.
My Brother Mike came back with his kids and we had a great at the commencement of this month. It was busy as we were busy with preparing for CNY. I remembered buying lots of things as it was tradition to buy gifts for my ex's family, as she was driving back to her hometown, I passed some "mandarin" oranges, barbequed meat, meat floss, some canned food, preserved stuffs and some bird's nest. I had to do things on a last minute basis as I was still working until the eve of CNY. She drove back immediately. That was also the last day that I was attached. Come the second day of CNY, I went for a movie with a male friend, I recall that it was a Cantonese movie called "Seoul raiders". Nothing to shout about, but my ex called me around 80 times during the 2 hours I spend watching the movie. I didn't answer her as I put it on silent mode. All hell broke loose after that and it sort of became a catalysts to a breakup.

March
A bad month, the anniversary of my business. It's already been one year and it was slow owing I suspect to post CNY. Collection was down by a hefty 40%, I had to dig money from reserves to cover the overheads, also having sleepless nights as it was common during the night that my ex calls me, to fight and to hurl verbal abuses. Profanic smses, and what not, threats and also pleads. It was actually something that she said that pushed me towards firmity. I was so totally taken aback when she said that my infirmed mom would hopefully give me more problems! What was that? it actually became the pillar and the strongest precedent for me to be firm and stick to my decision. Also the month that I plonked my deposit on my first property. I decided that it was high time to commit myself to something. Funny thing that I bought it with my ex in mind even to the extend of dishing out extra for an additional parking lot!

April
Similar to March, due to insomnia, I turn to the bottle, I had been affected so much with the breakup that it was affecting my wellbeing. I had been drastically loosing weight, and it has dropped from a high of 72kgs to 63kgs. Looks sickly as well as having dark circles on my eyes. It was a bad time. I couldn't sleep even with alcohol, and sleeping a max of 3 hours a day. Also having the hassle of buying the condominium with it's endless going through legal documentations and payments, arranging for loan and also aggreements.

May
Went for a holiday 2 days to Penang my friend, just to unwind myself. Drove there to visit my friend and his wife for I haven't been visited them for over a year. I received a call from my sister that mom was very sick, had to cut short my time in Penang and drove back. Mum was very sick then, didn't expect her to pull through then, but with the grace of god, she did. I tried everything and even my brother came back from Perth. Also to kill time, started joining the local Real Estate Forum.

June
One of the longest month, daily travelling up and down back home. Also the month that was pretty difficult, for I have every inkling to give my previous relationship a try. Wrote a few emails to her and even to the extend of sending my ex a card to arrange for a meeting end of July. Mum was doing better with appropriate care. The month of crazy anticapation. Also the month that I started blogging. Pretty memorable actually.

July
Ex's birthday month, she is a Leo and this is her month.Travelling back home is like a daily ritual, but something which is good news is that Mom has miraculously stabled a bit and she can tolerate oral feeding. The meeting that I had initiated turn to naught. She didnt turn up even inspite of waiting for 6 hours alone. The specifics was blogged actually. All in all a pretty depressing month. But at least I HAVE and HAD tried.

August
Work and work is the most prominent thing on my mind. Commited to buying my Xray Machine after contemplating for a very long time. Mom's health has actually stabilised a bit, Not much problem work wise, business has picked up somewhat. Also had the first forum gathering on this month. Met and got to know a few people and learnt a lot of things regarding real estate investment then. Stoked my interests in investing and diversifying my investment portfolio.

September
Still reeling from the after effects of the breakup. I had tried making friends with people, and eventhough I with lots of efforts, it didn't turn up fruitful as I surmise my timings and working hours are pretty long. Suspected that it would be detrimental to my health and as such I had plans to probably hunt for a "partner". Along the way I'd also met a few good net friends, bunnywunny, winn, greenmango. Also made an effort to meet up with a few people, but suffice to say, timings wasn't ideal as well as I didn't want to be involved for fear of being on a "rebound"!

October
Organised the second gathering among the fellow forum members, it was fun. Meet up with all the more experienced forum members in Devino and had a jolly time. Also tried to refocus my aims by distracting my mind by going for regular badminton. Also attended the xray course in order to be eligible to obtain an xray licence. A bleak and dark month. As most would would probably know, mom passed away at 30th of this month. All in all it was a terrible and stressful month. Unexpectedly mom took a turn for the worst during the concluding part of the month. The only positive thing was that at least all her children are with her and have the opportunity to see her before she passed on. Had tried albeit unsuccessfully to prolong her time but alas I had to relent as it was painful to see her in her state.

November
A hectic month having to do prayers and ceremonies for mom. Visited and arraged for the grave visit. Also the month when my brother left to go back to his life in Perth. At least it was toning down and things are going back to "normal". Less hectic towards the end of the month. I had the audacity to attend the 3rd Gathering for the real estate forum and it was okay. It works especially to take my mind from mom and my ex. On a lighter note, my mind is slowly springing free from my ex.

December
This month. I will be leaving for Beijing, Shenyang and Harbin later tonite the 30th of December. The xray machine has been installed and the licence is still pending, inspite of applying for close to 6 months due majorly to the fact that the goverment machinery is totally inept and incompetent. I guess I can only commence usage next year. Business has been slow primarily due to the year end "syndrome". Many had taken long holidays owing to the combined Christmas and New Year.

Reflecting back 2005 bags a lot of sentimental and unhappy episode in my life, being tumultous and such. I hope and pray that in the coming new year 2006, would bring forth good experience and happiness. Putting past dues behind me, I will venture into the new year brimming with hope and ideals. I hope it will be fruitful and bears good tidings to everyone. May God Bless. Happy New Year 2006, and may it brings Prosperity, Happiness, Good Luck, and most importantly Good Health!